Lately I have been reading the posts on the Yahoo Group DonorMisconception. I was invited into the group after I attended the Toronto DC Symposium. I don't neccessarily agree with all that is stated in the posts but I find the views and comments required reading in my DC education. The group’s title page states :
"Our bias is towards supporting and extending the legal rights of the people born via such procedures as well as addressing the rights of former donors. The founders of this group believe that, ultimately, gamete donation in all its forms should be legislated against or, at least - in the interim - more stringent regulations should be enacted."
I have found the group to be full of impassioned people including and formed by but not limited to donor conceived persons (DCP). The group was started by DCPs as a forum that they felt was not being provided on other platforms where they could discuss and put forward their views that DC should be replaced by something less painful to the offspring' or 'donor conception should be banned altogether' or 'donor conception has created a great sense of loss' etc. These persons felt their views were relegated to the back burner as opposed to infertile couples who desire to have children resulted in decisions to use DC.
One DC affected class of persons I learned about here are Donor Wives whose husbands either donated before their marriages or during. In these families the donor wife may have to come to terms with a family the donor is now part of (via their dc conceived bio / natural offspring if contact is made and accepted) which the donor wife has no blood or marital connection to other than through their spouse. This may be especially complicated if the donor was a known donor.
Again I don’t necessarily agree with the views of DonorMisconception and I still believe our decision to use DC was a good one. The question is how good a decision will it be for our kids.
"Again I don’t necessarily agree with the views of DonorMisconception and I still believe our decision to use DC was a good one. The question is how good a decision will it be for our kids."
ReplyDeleteBut isn't that the whole point Eric? It is a good decision for me too, but the question and doubt that nags me constantly is exactly that... is it good for (any hypothetical) children.
I really don't know.
I was confused for a moment until I saw your comment underneath my own words. Cute. It's also rare to be pulled back several months into your own blog to see your own words.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow I think as long as the kids are loved and the issue is discussed early and openly you are doing the best you can. One thing I have learned is each DCP is their own individual. Nothing says just because one group is upset that they all are.
It would be unrealistic to believe that any DCP born would never want to learn more about their genetic past. How we help them with that is another issue and something we can have input on.