The Need for Contrary Opinion

Please note that this blog was written a few days under a then understood set of facts. At the close of this post will be an update...

Something happened yesterday afternoon (3/9?) which I actually did not intend. There are always at least two sides to every story. There are those who would directly oppose each other's opinion and then in between individuals with varying degrees of acceptance, support and disagreement. Yesterday a member of Tangled Webs who has posted comments here quite often (at least recently) stated she would no longer be posting on "these blogs". By these blogs I took it to mean this one, and those of DD and Richard respectively each at "Diaries of a Hopeful Dad" and "The End of My Line?". While some (including at times myself) felt that this individual's comments tended to the acerbic (as opposed to honest and open discussion) I honestly believe this event is a loss.

While I disagreed with her methods I did not always disagree with her position or right to it. It was just her insistence that there can be no other answer. But I want to back off any criticism for the moment. My purpose is to state there is a need for contrary opinion. And no I am not looking for a kinder and gentler contrary opinion. And no I am not posting this as another method to tame the fire that is in this individual. What I want to make clear is that Donor Conception as a family creation method does have an impact beyond that of "treating" infertility, it does sever a connection between the conceived individual from their genetic past and because it does that the issues involved deserve discussion and reminders to ensure that we the parents who created these individuals are aware of the potential issues that our children may grapple with. To cry a mantra of openness without recognizing the possibility and reality of a downside to these methods of conception is turning a blind eye on the issue. At the same those experiencing losses should not be discounted but also those experiencing losses can not look down on those individuals who are not grieving as exceptions, oddities, liars, or brainwashed children.

Again I am not looking for this individual to re-enter the comment arena and blast out her opinions (on my blog, DD's or Richard's) without her recognizing that others are entitled to their own opinion but I do want to recognize her opinion as valid and that to not hear it is a loss. I encourage her to find a proper venue for that voice and to use that venue to promote meaningful dialogue where all sides to this puzzle can each look at the issues and present their views.

As noted above this blog was written a few days back on 3/10, since that time the individual referred to returned at least on this blog so its clear this "contrary" opinion has not disappeared as they had indicated they would. One additional note that while I do believe differing opinions are neccesary I do not intend to let my voice and this blog be a platform for those that offer no respect for opinions other than their own much less mine.