The following post was first published by me on 7/29/2006 on DadBloggers. For anyone that wants a daily dose about what being a dad is feel free to check out the DadBloggers site where 36 dads rotate daily posts about life.
As I stated in my first post I am not the biological father to my kids as they were conceived with the assistance of donor sperm. In the next few weeks we will be taking a family vacation to a theme park here in the Northeast. We really have never taken a family vacation before and this one will be a little different than typical vacations. You see my kids are meeting for the first time their biological half sibling.
Each of the kids is under 5 so how much they understand is debatable. At the same other than again stating to my kids that a donor created them and that the donor also helped create the young girl we are meeting I don’t expect to get into too much detail. The idea is simply for the kids to meet and then deal with the details.
For extended families created unfortunately / fortunately due to divorce or even the death of a parent (where the surviving parent remarries and then has kids with their new spouse) the issues of half or step siblings is generally accepted. As a result siblings, step, half or full are just part of their lives and the linking parents are flesh and blood tangible persons.
In the case of donor conceived families the donor is anything but flesh and blood unless a known donor was used and part of the equation. The circumstances creating these children is currently much more titillating and seem by some as controversial. As a result the instance of meeting half siblings without a physical linking parent is that much more amazing and life affecting.
The children are not brother and sisters as they have no relationship to date but meeting creates the base for that relationship and I want to make sure we do it right and not confuse these kids.
To say I am nervous on a number of levels is an understatement. For not only are the kids meeting but my wife and I will be meeting the little girl’s mom for the first time even though we have been trading e-mails and voice mails and talking live on the phone for several months. As compared to my own sister who is stuck with me if this woman does not like me or my wife it could affect any possible relationship the kids might have growing up and knowing each other.
It should be an interesting vacation.
Hi Eric, I sent you an e-mail. Katty
ReplyDeleteRelax...I think you will all have a wonderful time. If the adults all treat each other with respect (and I know you will) you will get along fine and if you are lucky a basis for a genuine friendship will form.
ReplyDeleteI met via e-mail and in person several families who share our donor and I liked all of them. I am closer to the one I've met more often and with whom I have more in common, but if the others were nearby geographically I'm sure I'd be closer to them as well.
Thoughtful, interesting and courageous people choose DI as a way to build their families. What's not to like? LOL!
Thank you! We actually are basically relaxed about it but at the same time quite amazed that these kids are meeting and the whole concept of this.
ReplyDelete