A comment posted to this blog sometime back pointed out quite succinctly that DI is not a cure for infertility it's just an end game around it. So I continue to be infertile although the birth of my children puts aside the pain of that reality. Or does it?
One of the men on the Yahoo discussion group in response to my posting about meeting my kids' half sibling indicated that such a meeting would only serve as a reminder to him that another man provided the sperm for his own children, just as he the donor, did for the half sibling.
This DI Dad's infertilty in effect was re-affirmed by the presence of another child sired by the same donor. My first thought was how could an innocent child trigger such a threatened result. But in truth I can understand it.
In my case the half sibling's presence only made me smile. She certainly made my kids' smile. I hope they made her smile. My smiles were not based upon solely my reactions to her but the knowledge that there is one more person out there that my children can relate to and share common experiences with.
Sure when I saw her the truth of what the donor accomplished or rather enabled to happen was again made clear that his genetic material was carried on and not mine. But that's selfish. That fact does not matter. My sister's kids carry those genes.
What is at issue is whether a half sibling existence triggers a reminder of my infertilty. In my case I don't consciously believe so. What it does trigger is how precious these children are, that they are gifts, and how much they need our love and support.
Am I still an infertile man? Yes. Big whoop.
That's a really admirable place to have come to.
ReplyDeleteMakes me wonder if I could ever get there.
Bea