no. 276
"The Truth About Donor 1084" is a disturbing article to read and an important one among the articles being written about Donor Conception. It is one of the next generation of article being written to open the door beyond the happy stories of Donor 48QAH that present these stories as oddities and mere human interest. The Donor 1084 article begins to paint a picture for the public that borders if not crosses the line into criminal negligence and disregard for the children created by this process.
The stories of the families in this article are not as uncommon as you would think or hope and thankfully I can say my kids to date as well as "T" their half sibling are all healthy but as a parent of DI I cannot turn a blind eye as I want the banks to take responsibility and determine how these issues can be rectified.
I am not saying that I expect the banks to pony up funds to cover the medical expenses of these kids (although it is strong belief that they should if it can proven they had knowledge of any chance of xyz conditoin occuring) but at least they have to start changing their rules and contracts to allow more communication and info to flow and to make donors aware that they have a responsibility to these kids and that at a minimum to be honest and that to not do so can have repercusions.
Reform is needed. I don't have the answers but I know I want to be part of that equation. Stories like these just make me angry and my heart go out to these families.
If you can get to a library or a Barnes & Noble read the article and see if you don't feel just as angry.
Yes, this story is hard to read. It is harder still to live with. I am one of the 1084 Moms. Every day when I look at my son, I am reminded of how wrong the "What you don't know can't hurt you" approach is. What has bothered me somewhat is that this article has generated so little attention. Up until now I have shied away from discussing the situation with my son E and Fairfax, depsite being involved in many media projects as a 401 Mom. Why is it that the media still calls us (the 401 Moms) almost a year after the initial articles that threw us in the spotlight - about a feel good donor sibling story, but bypasses a much more serious issue that needs to be dealt with?
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those moms as well, and every day I live with the knowledge that there are more problems out there that may be in store for my son. I hate Fairfax for what they've done, and my son has to pay with his health for their greed. I paid them $1800 for the sperm that was used to conceive my son. I guess for them $1800 is worth a child's health.
ReplyDeleteDear Care & Estelle -
ReplyDeleteFirst off let me say thanks for adding your comments here. The dichotomy between the Press coverage of the Donor 401 stories to the lack of coverage of the 1084 story is amazing to me. It almost seems tailored / scripted by Cryobanks to cover up their shortcomings at the expense of open dialogue and the health of your kids.
At this point in time we don't really have an effective lobby group for DI / DE issues. Someday maybe the DSR will head down that route or my hope is to create a larger umbrella group bringing together the various DC constituencies that can take on this role. Unfortunately the major Infertility groups have not taken up these issues which baffles my mind.
Again thank you for commenting and I hope to continue following your stories.
Eric