I was surfing YouTube this evening and came across a pair of videos posted by Caliban018 regarding his diagnosis of suffering from a Varicocele .His first entry discussing the pain of learning of infertility reminded me of my own raw pain of learning years ago. After blogging for so long you get used to the faceless interaction as opposed to seeing a person's emotions in their face and not just through their words.
Within his second entry on the topic you learn of the varicocele diagnosis and the options and hope he and his wife have. It is within this entry he discusses those options and the possibility that he could be open to raising "another man's child" if it came to that.
We wish you well Caliban018 and will be hoping your July 2007 varicocele surgery goes well in all respects.
I'm glad you found those videos. I found them a few days ago (thought of you briefly, but not for long enough to drop you a note, sorry) and the "Pain" one, in particular, is very moving. You're right - reading and watching are different experiences.
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It was almost hard for me to sit and watch. The second one actually became harder as he has the hope that the varicocele will turn the situation around.
ReplyDeleteI read a number of the blogs of the folks that contributed to the IIFF and others that comment on or are referred to by Mel and each time somebody has hopes it becomes agonizing to see the crashes. If we had to live through that each time with real faces on YouTube I think we'd all be in tears too often.
*muttering* They're not another man's children. If he thinks of it like that, it'll never work.
ReplyDeleteIt's time for the DI community to understand that we only have one set of parents, and that's the people that raised us. This donor, wherever he may be, is no more our father than a cactus is an oak tree. Sure, they're both plants with chlorophyll, but that's where the practical similarities end.
His reaction is typical of men just considering or thinking of DI as an option. At this point if that is his path I would not read too much into that statement.
ReplyDeleteOften we hear and read about the pain a woman goes through when coming to terms with infertility. This man's perspective is an eye opener for me. For a long time I did not understand that a man would feel emasculated at the thought of not being able to make his wife pregnant (thus going the DI route). I hope everything works out for him.
ReplyDeleteAs of yet, I haven't had a chance to see these videos. But I have been reading Caliban's story (and his wife's) here. I understand what he is going through and like everyone else, I wish him nothing but the best.
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