The following links are interviews conducted with Damian Adams from the blog Donated Generation by Cheryl Miller of the New Atlantis (A Journal of Technology and Society). Damian is an adult who has known most of his life of his origins. I have found Damian to be pretty direct, forthright and worth following his comments and feelings.
Part One:
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/blog/conceptions/questions-for-damian-adams-donor-conceived-adult
Part Two:
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/blog/conceptions/questions-for-damian-adams-donor-conceived-adult-2
Part One:
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/blog/conceptions/questions-for-damian-adams-donor-conceived-adult
Part Two:
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/blog/conceptions/questions-for-damian-adams-donor-conceived-adult-2
Thanks for posting this. I went to his blog and was quite intrigued!
ReplyDeleteI've read other blogs similar to Damian's and I always find it quite hard to hear that position, i.e. that donor conception always deprives the children of some essential connection, and is harmful to the children conceived this way. It's important to me to open up to these views and to really listen to them, but at the same time, I find it really upsetting. I worry about what I am trying to do, and it makes me doubt my choices to some extent. But it's very good food for thought.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting.
Unfortunately, as one of the DI kids, I look at that stance and always feel angry.
ReplyDeleteIn my mind, claims of an unseen bond with some nameless, faceless donor attempts to lessen or devalue the very strong bond I have with my "non-biological" father.
I had to withdraw from the DI Yahoo group because I couldn't stomach the persistent negativity that flows out of the community. I live, I laugh, I love... and sometimes I glower, I grumble, I hate... None of those feelings are related to my means of conception. Where I came from doesn't matter to me, I'm more worried with where I'm going.
Meh. *shrug*
Thanks for the positive comments Eric. I have also really appreciated your openness and willingness to listen to others views. Your blog is a great reseource.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has different perspectives and I appreciate everyones views, even Meh. If Meh is happy with their mode of conception then great. Not everyone will be. The protocols, legislation and the like are not in place to help those that feel contrary to Meh.
All I am trying to do is create intellectual debate and hopefully provide food for thought (like for annacyclopedia).
And food for my thoughts as well. I don't think it will necessarily be the case that every DC child would have the same feelings (see Ryan's post), but what intrigued me about Damian's odyssey is that he had the epiphany of feeling about the subject upon becoming a biological father. He's got a basis for comparison that he did not have before. Now, he has never been a DI Dad, and he does not know his bio dad, so there are some points of comparison missing for him just as there are for me (I was raised by my bio dad and have a DC son). But I am extremely interested in hearing about the world of possible emotions and opinions about DC that my son (who is now 2 and already has been told to the extent it can be told to a toddler) may well share one day.
ReplyDeleteIn the same vein, my first biological kids are due early next year, so we'll see if I have the same sort of epiphany that Damian had.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't expect I will, just because of how my mind works regarding emotional connections.In fact, I'm pretty sure my reaction will be, "Oh. Oh dear, it's crying. Here, Son (older, adopted), hold this screaming nuisance."