This Friday, if work schedules allow, I will meet for only the second time another father of a child conceived via donor insemination. The first such meeting was one week before the Oct 4 Toronto DC Ethics conference when I met Walter Merricks of the Donor Conception Network. For goals of openess and disclosure to increase in the United States among heterosexual couples there must be local support groups set up to connect donor conception families.
Internet groups and connections are a giant step forward to disseminate information and to get men to start addressing fears and open questions but until there are meetings that wives can drag men to where they can see other men like themselves and as individuals and couples to start discussing the topics of disclosure openly it will always be easier to hide the use of donor conception and for individuals not to be told their donor conception stories.
So again I am hoping to start Donor Conception New York off the ground with this goal as one of several purposes. Hopefully this lunch is a start to that path. For now it is simply a lunch between two dads. Next time maybe more folks can join and meet.
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If there are any donor conceived individuals in the NYC area who would be interested in an informal meeting please let me know. I know I have spoken about planning a larger "gathering" but I am now thinking smaller more intimate meetings are a way to start and connect. My goals for Donor Conception New York are not for only hetero families but to be open to all DC individuals and families.
Eric and I had a great lunch Friday. I may be like the typical web lurker in that I am not sufficiently invested in DC issues to make things happen; but it would be irresponsible of me not to at least know about the sort of family my decisions have helped create. Eric is keenly attuned to that responsibility, and he has taken it upon himself to make some things happen. So if you are one of the lurker DI Dads like me, take advantage of Eric's initiative and be part of a bigger gathering (it could be five guys for lunch, or some families for a picnic when the weather's good, etc.). My motive was to keep myself close to the DC issues for my son's benefit, but I also enjoyed the lunch. Good to meet you, Eric, see you at the next one, be it two of us or 20. -- Vinnie
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