I have noticed that I have been writing about once a month. I have meant to write more. So be it.
A few items. During the last month I attended another meeting of the Third Party Parenting Network where I met two other DI Dads and another dad via DE. Other than Vinnie from the Yahoo group and Walter Merricks from the DCN this was the first such meeting in a semi therapy session atmosphere. It was interesting. Nothing truly new but interesting to see the words come out someone elses mouth.
During this last month, the kids participated in another chess tournament. My son did OK but was having a off week overal and it affected his game. But that is not why I am writing this. Another mother we only met that day commented how my daughter's eyes favor my own. I am long past being bothered by these comments and if anything I am flattered as my daughter is real cutey.
My wife made some sort of comment to this woman that she should look past genetics and my wife even almost told this stranger the truth and I stopped her. There was no reason to do so on so many levels. This woman did not pick up on my shorthand that my wife should let the comment pass. It was somewhat amusing that my wife wanted to tell but then again maybe not.
We have been joking lately that the donor must have someone in his family that spoke with their hands as my daughter constantly gestures with her hands when she speaks. It is very cute but we have no idea where it comes from.
I never know how to respond to these kinds of encounters. I had the strangest one this weekend at the grocery. A woman told me that my son and her 2 month old grandson were the spitting image of one another. For a parent with a child conceived by conventional methods this probably would just be a passing comment. As a DI mom I'm left wondering if her grandson was conceived by the same donor or if the father of her grandson is our donor. Chances are it was just a coincidental resemblance, but I can't help to wonder!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you blogging again, we missed you!
ReplyDeleteYou have a great attitude when responding to people like that. I always have a hard time knowing what to say, then an hour later I'll scream "Damn, should have said THIS!"
-Mr. Shelby
You know, we get these comments in my family too, despite me being seven or eight inches taller than my dad, a brunette to his redhead, my strong german features compared to his... I dunno, how would you describe the features of the stereotypical 50's greaser?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, people tell us we look alike, all evidence to the contrary. I just leer down at them and mark it up to people wanting to make an observation so much that they will conflate a resemblance where none exists.
Hell, I've done it before, with a couple classmates who were related... via adoption.
Funny you should say that...just the other day I was at the eye doctor with my mom and the optician commented on my bad eyes (I'm legally blind w/out my contacts/glasses) and asked if my father had bad eyes. My mom of course changed the subject and mentioned that she needed to wear glasses before getting LASIK - even though she only needed to wear them to drive!! It kind of bugs me, because she knows damn well that it's the only place I could have gotten my bad eyes.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, don't expect comments like that to end any time soon....I guess people see what they want to see.
Like Ryan, I also have people say that I look like my dad...even though we look NOTHING alike!!