My daughter's weekly homework packet is due Monday morning. Inevitably when she comes to me Sunday nights from her mother's there is always a large chunk not yet done prompting me to get on my daughter's case about why this much is left undone until the last minute. It usually results in hours of prodding her and both of us becoming very very exasperated.
Will she interpret this years from now as just a dad being upset at her homework skills or will she take this as some underlying issue? I should not worry about such things and really I don't do so always but sometimes I do. I read too many blogs and articles about kids who always felt an underlying tension between themselves and the parent they either later learn is not their biological parent or that they already knew. And then I stupidly reconfigure those into fears.
I love my kids so much and like any parent I just want them to do their best work. My little one is not the fastest in getting her work done. She never has been despite what skills we try to teach her. It's just so exasperating. My creating fears that should not exist does not help matters.
Will she interpret this years from now as just a dad being upset at her homework skills or will she take this as some underlying issue? I should not worry about such things and really I don't do so always but sometimes I do. I read too many blogs and articles about kids who always felt an underlying tension between themselves and the parent they either later learn is not their biological parent or that they already knew. And then I stupidly reconfigure those into fears.
I love my kids so much and like any parent I just want them to do their best work. My little one is not the fastest in getting her work done. She never has been despite what skills we try to teach her. It's just so exasperating. My creating fears that should not exist does not help matters.
So, glad I found this! We are trying for our first child through DI and are having problems. Today we encounted a new hurdle and this is helping. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI think about this too. For me, the extra layer of work and wondering that comes with parenting a kid I'm not genetically linked to, has seemed to make the great stuff of parenting sweeter, and the hard stuff a little bit harder. I think this is a real thing, and something that merits paying attention to. I do think it may (subtlely) shape our kids relationships with us, too, and like you, I hope I'm doing OK. I hit on something like this in a post a while back: http://firsttimesecondtime.com/2011/08/do-you-love-them-differently/
ReplyDeleteLet's hope you can all understand each other! You are working to try and keep communication open, so that's obviously a good start. I only wish I could solve your homework problem for you. If you get any tips, pass them on - good chance I will need them later I suppose.
ReplyDeleteBea