Monday, August 30, 2010

I Finally Saw "The Kids Are All Right"

Well I finally got to see the movie "The Kids are All Right".

Spoiler Alert.

I found all the scenes of the two teenagers interactions with their donor and the scenes of how they made contact spot on with what I expected to see and the scenes were played by the three actors quite well and with respect for the interactions they were portraying.

As I am not a lesbian mom I cannot say if the parent's reactions were what I expected or what would occur. What I can say is that the characters portrayed by Benning and Moore could very easily been a heterosexual couple and the movie played out almost exactly the same. I can see how introducing a new individual into a long term marriage with similiar issues of "appreciation" could go the exact same way.

One fear of many DI Dads I have interacted with on the DI Dads Yahoo group is the fantasy / concern that a spouse may end up wanting to sleep with the donor if they ever met. The reality is this probably rarely if ever happens as 99% of hetero couples will never meet the donors they chose.

Are lesbian couples more likely to invite a donor to their home so all parties can meet? Perhaps as they might find a male donor less threatening than a hetero couple certainly would. But as I saw in this movie as the married Moms were at a point where one mom was vulnerable she allowed / initiated "something more" with their donor. At this point the movie became more about infidelity and reconciliation than donor conception.

Overall I felt the movie addressed each issue (donor conception / infidelity) as it would be played out in real life and it should be commended for that. I just hoped the two issues would never had to be mixed as I felt bad that these teenagers now forever will link the infidelity to their donor and the relationship will probably never progress beyond that point.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Switch: A Donor Conception Movie ?

Is the new Jennifer Aniston movie, "The Switch", truly a donor conception movie?

Sure the main character is impregnated using a turkey baster with sperm from a cup so technically yes it is. And yes the intent was to use a known donor where the mother to be was not considering having the donor involved in the life of her child. But something about this just seems to me to be another dumb movie where the mother probably ends up with the donor and they all live happily after without truly addressing the issues that affect individuals, couples and the children created.

The Kids are Alright from all reports addresses the actual issues. This romantic comedy seems to be one that was shot purely for comedic value and just another twist for the old story line where two friends realize they should be together and the path taken to get there.

My Daddy's Name is Donor: A Promised Posting of a Response

Since Family Scholar's published their study entitled "My Daddy's Name is Donor" there have been a number of articles written about it as well as commentary debating its merits by both sides of the aisle. Most of the main stream press have written stories that this is the first major study of its kind. To my understanding it is not.

After I commented on the BioNews article / response written by Eric Blythe and Wendy Kramer I received a few comments from Elizabeth Marquardt and Karen Clark, co authors of the original study. I promised that when Ms. Marquardt had posted her response to the BioNews piece I would link to it at a minimum.

The Family scholars response can be found here. I want to read it again but the anology that one side sees the world as a glass half full while the other sees the glass as half empty is interesting. I think characterizing the sides this simply is an over-generalization.

Overall I still believe couples should have the right to make their own decisions regarding the creation of their families. I do think the rights of the children created should be respected and that prospective parents should be made aware of all the issues surrounding donor conception. Greater regulation is needed but such regulation should not be created / promulgated by the industry itself.

As a Dad I try not to push my kids at their young ages into discussing their thoughts about being donor conceived but I must admit I am very very curious to know more what they think.