Review: "Style Exposed: Sperm Donor"

I watched the "Style Exposed: Sperm Donor" episode yesterday evening. I enjoyed watching it. From a posting by Wendy Kramer of the Donor Sibling Registry, to the Yahoo DSR Discussion group, the continued showing of this episode on Style has yielded more donor signing up on the DSR than I believe usually do in a single year. Which has resulted in numerous matches between donors and offspring.

There are only 4 more scheduled showings of the episode on the Style Network. The last one this Friday at 1:00 am. [UPDATE: watch it here above or here]

Certainly seeing Adriene's and Kris's meeting and connecting was great to see and feel a part of. Watching Adriene talk with her dad and mom about her feelings for her dad despite his not being her biological donor dad was very touching and comforting. The connection she felt for Kris, her half sibling, was palpable and rewarding to see. You could see the joy in Kris's face having Adriene there for her big day.

The other half of the episode involved watching Ben Seisler, former donor, from Boston address the fact he has at least 74 offspring and balancing the concerns and fears that his fiance was herself having. At the same time he himself was dealing with his own thoughts and concerns meeting for the first time with two children conceived from his sperm.

He seemed like a man who honestly was trying to find his way. As he said to his fiance there is no guide book for this. The concerns I have for them is how does he balance his desire to provide info to these families and balance his life as a married man. There is a danger that this could create a divide in his marriage.

At the same time a number of these donor families, if Ben allows more to meet him, will want him to be a presence on some level in the lives of their children. It would appear so from just this one family. Not all will want contact but even if a few do it will be something he has to address if he plans to on treating these kids as clinically as he intended to before he met family one.

My own thoughts are the episode was a positive step to getting the stories out there and certainly it encouraged more donors to step forward. Will more donor family stories follow? Certainly the DSR hopes so and so do I. But will the general public, and advertising sponsors, have a desire to see a periodic series? I am not sure they would.

There is no guide for this.

Cheaper by the Dozen

This afternoon while watching television with the kids we ended up watching the Steve Martin version of the movie Cheaper by the Dozen. I asked the kids if they wanted 10 brothers and sisters and of course the answer was yes even if that meant 8 kids in my son's room and 4 in his sister's room. The movie is plenty cute and despite the internal squabbles of the kids they all loved each other and as the movie ended they all lived happily ever after.

I realized this evening that my own kids will grow up like both my wife and I did with only one sibling and that will be basically their whole family except for two cousins on side of the family. No we are not even contemplating having more DI kids but the wish the kids had a larger family for support and just normal stuff is appealing.

It's been several months since the kids last physically met "T" their only known half sibling. I wish we all lived closer so that the kids could see her more often. They have not asked about "T" that much lately. I am not pushing them to include her in their thoughts and we let her existence come up naturally if and when the kids ask.

I still check the Donor Sibling Registry periodically to see if more half siblings are out there but as time passes it is less and less likely that there are others or at least if there are that their families will register their existence on the DSR decreasing the likelihood that we will even learn about them.

I believe I have written here that before I learned of my infertility I always wanted four kids. These days for financial reasons alone that is less heard of much less when infertility is encountered. So for now I will continue to live out my desire for a larger family through television while snuggling with the two beautiful kids I have.

TV Planner: Oprah Feb 8 Episode re Donor Conception

On February 8th the Oprah Winfrey Show expects to run a show to be taped this week titled "The Ultimate Reunion: When Dad is a Sperm Donor". Wendy and Ryan Kramer were involved in the show in so far as putting individuals who matched through the Donor Sibling Registry in touch with the producers and they themselves will be at the show.

According to Wendy, the Oprah folks, in November, went and filmed a meeting between two adult donor conceived half siblings that met via the DSR and is flying these individuals to Chicago for the show. The show is also expected to include two donors (each listed on the DSR), one of whom who has met with offspring and the other who hasn't. Wendy also indicated on a Yahoo DSR posting that a few adult donor conceived individuals are expected to be part of the show as well.

A few posters to the DSR Yahoo Group commented that they hope the show will also address the disappointment that is also common to donor conceived individuals and their familes who have never found a match.

It does not sound like the show will address any feelings or thoughts from the perspective of a dad like me but still I hope to watch it on tape when I get home that day or a delayed broadcast from another networj that carries the show.

BBC Three: The Great Sperm Crisis (Danny Robins)

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Tonight, 5/17/2007, on BBC Three at 9pm (UK time):

"When comedian and TV presenter Danny Robins travelled the country to highlight the UK's shortage of sperm donors, he was surprised to discover just how many men were prepared to pledge their support."

All kidding aside the post title is linked to a BBC article where the comments section has an interesting cross section of serious comments from former donors and other men on the topic as a whole.

BBC One Drama 4/20 "All About Me"

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BBC One Program Reminder for 2:05 pm on Friday April 20, 2007

Link to my original post to see a synopsis of the one hour drama inspired by the changing DI / AI laws in the UK. For additional details link here to the PDF document posted by the DC Network about the program.

TV's "Brothers & Sisters" & One DI Dad & Two Donors

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Julie over at DI Mom summarizes what is happening on the ABC drama "Brothers & Sisters". It seems that the show has taken on DI as a story line and has involved three of the shows featured siblings. Julie also quite eloquently states her concerns about this story line as a parent of a DI conceived child.

Will TV get it right or will they get it wrong? Is this the type of exposure we want for this issue or not?

I want to know how I can get the infertile dad character to join the DI Dad's Yahoo group.

Let Julie know your thoughts on her blog and I'd like to hear yours as well.

"All About Me" New BBC Drama Exploring Donor Conception, The Search For Identity, And The Nature Of Family

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The above named drama will premier on Friday April 20th On BBC 1 At 2.05pm.

Medical News Today
Article Date: 03 Apr 2007 - 11:00 PDT

"ALL ABOUT ME by Malcolm Campbell explores donor insemination, genetic inheritance and the damage of secrets and lies.

The drama was inspired by recent changes in the laws regarding donor anonymity for sperm and egg donors. Donor conceived children now have the right [in the UK] to trace their donor parents, just as adopted children do."

"ALL ABOUT ME comes from triple BAFTA award-winning indie Resource Base, commissioned by BBC Education and BBC Daytime in a first co-production."

If anyone can secure a copy of this drama or provide a review once it airs I'd be interested to hear about it. We have yet to see a serious take on donor conception on TV or in the movies here in the US. It is presumed that the Vanessa William movie will be more serious than "Made in America" ever was but is still being promoted as less than a hard core drama from what I have seen.