Saturday, November 14, 2015
I saw an article on Kveller this morning where the writer wanted to revoke the right of the media to continuously reference the children of anyone as adopted. She noted with respect to celebrities that when describing that celebrity's children it had to state how many were via adoption and how many via birth etc. Will my son when his parentage is referenced be always followed by the phrase "he was donor conceived"? Ugh. I hope not.
Posted by DI_Dad at 8:47 AM
Wednesday, July 01, 2015
Today I saw blog posts both either having an issue with terminology or I think playing games using terminology.
The first posted on Kveller had to do with labeling kids or birth story with the word Adopted. Her point was why we must always reference kids as adopted. She cited examples of articles re Nicole Kidman and Angelina Jolie and numerous acquaintances that come up to her and announced they were adopted.
I agree that such classifications are usually unnecessary and create a second class stigma. My kids for the record don't reference themselves and I don't either aside from this blog's title. They are my kids. I pay child support to prove it.
The second article I saw on Twitter retweeted which blamed the sexual revolution for a host of reproductive medicine issues as the writer saw it. I did not think using that term as a catch all was appropriate. The points made may have held worth but I just felt the writer latched onto the term as a hook to draw people in. Felt contrived. My personal opinion.
Otherwise Happy Canada Day to my friends up North !!!!
Saturday, January 31, 2015
It's been a while since I have posted. I don't have anything new or profound to say. But let's ramble and see where I go.
Yesterday at work a colleague and I got into a conversation where I stated my kids are donor conceived. I can't remember now what we were talking about. All I know now is that stating this feels as normal as anything. They are still my kids with all the pluses and minuses a parent feels about their kids. It's just a part of our story as crazy wild as any family's story is.
I miss seeing my kids everyday but that's a divorce story and that pain, although I have accepted that, never leaves. I did learn this week of another DI Dad who is going down this road. I had wondered what the statistics on this are. I will say of the DI Dads who have divorced it appears the reasons are generally not DI related. It seems we are just part of the same statistical percentage as the rest of the married population who end up down this path.
But as dad of DI kids I do worry about their psyches as they already had enough to process with their DI stories to add being a child of divorce. Which has the greater impact only time will tell. I am sure it varies with each and every individual.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
The facebook based project has been mildly successful so far. Cards and images trickle in. No major deluge. Positive feedback.
Not sure how to effectively promote it. Twitter adds something but not a string feeder. Posting updates on other facebook groups has helped. I do like seeing varied messages be submitted and posted. Will let it grow organically.
Sunday, April 06, 2014
How Public is Public
In the end she trusts in the faith that her neighbors are tolerant of all views and the knowledge who their family is that no prejudice would ensue.
Made me think on some levels how some couples decide not to tell their children they are donor conceived. Once the child knows it might as well at times be a sign on their front lawn. To do so might add a stigma to the couple's lives that one parent could not procreate as easily as all their neighbors or that the child may grow up with that stigma attached much as adoptees sometimes did a bit when I was a child in the 1970s.
This post is not addressing whether DC should be used due to issues of identity, medical or abandonment that some donor conceived have experienced.
This post is simply looking at the issue from a perspective of who
Telling or Not Telling is serving. Clearly in the world some parents might be embarrassed for their neighbors to know as opposed to the honesty of sharing the info with the child so they have that knowledge and can process it as they will as they grow up.
The analogy to the NYT column is not perfect but with the facts of my world it is part of what I saw and how I reacted.
(As an aside I did recently see a cartoon or something about Jesus being Donor Conceived. But that would be a whole other post to address that analogy).
Post # 572
Post # 572
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Well I have created a facebook page for the Project. The link is below. I have also created a Twitter account for the Project to announce the publishing of new cards received. Interest is definitely out there.
I have spoken with many people offering support from Olivia Montuschi of the Donor Conception Network to Alana Newman of the AnonymousUS project.
Just waiting for cards to start arriving. Here is the contact and link info:
Donor PO Box 6728
Conception FDR Station
PostCard New York, NY
Sample postcard submissions:
Posted by DI_Dad at 9:16 AM