Monday, October 21, 2019

Your Dad is Still Your Dad ... But Not Always

Reading stories like this are tough. Most that I see involve scenarios like this one where the dad is gone and the individual learns later they are donor conceived. 

A few years back I had a fight with one of my kids. Not even sure which one. I got the "you're not even my real dad" line. The one I had been preparing myself for for years. I held firm and was fine but it still hurt. 

Reading this I felt this young woman's pain. But at the same time I understand her desire. Melissa Daniels know you're dad would understand if I may speak for him.

Part of this roller coaster ride is to be strong enough for our kids.  There may or may not be pain and awkwardness but the goal is to raise good people. The goal is to love them no matter what. Part of this journey is growing. Them and us. But our job as parents is to be there for them. That's how I look at all this.

Sent from my iPhone

Saturday, October 19, 2019

The US Needs A Sperm Donor Registry and Overall Industry Regulation

For many reasons this country needs increased regulation around the sperm donor industry. One of these regulations includes the need for a sperm donor registry.  A registry is needed for a number of reasons including to ensure that donors are not overused and to monitor and standardize screening methods and testing. For too long the government agencies that should monitor this industry, and is just that, have ceded self regulation to the ASRM which is nothing more in effect than an industry group, whose purpose is to lobby and ensure no outside regulation is enabled which would monitor the industry. 

Read the article. The Fox TV show Almost Family adds in its comedy and adult themes to attract viewers. It does touch upon many of the issues donor conceived individuals deal with. As it moves forward I am interested to see how it addresses the topics more in depth.

Sent from my iPhone

Male Infertility: What to Know and How to Cope - NYT Parenting

Generally a well laid out article addressing male infertility. The last section touches on "other options" when MFI is untreatable including adoption and donor sperm. However this section was extremely abbreviated and really only states it gives the individual some control. No discussion regarding what donor conception means to the individual created or the responsibilities of the parents using donor sperm to create their family. So much more could could have been said especially since this is as I understood it a Parenting column and not simply a baby creation column.

Friday, October 04, 2019

Laura High, Comedian, Sperm Donor Baby

So I come across this video by a young female comedian who is video chronicling her story as a sperm donor baby and being contacted by a half sibling sister. Interesting start. Looking forward to following and watching.

Friday, September 20, 2019

Another 23andMe Discovery Story

There are many stories out there of 
Donor Conceived adult learning that secret that changes their lives and can alter their relationships to the parent they always knew as Dad or Mom. This is one. One of many reasons my personal belief is openness and telling our children their donor conception story.  Best viewed in Vimeo. 

Amber van Moessner (@moxieingreen)
Two years ago my whole life changed with a ⁦‪@23andMe‬⁩ test. This short film explores the rabbit hole I fell into learning about the unfair and unregulated practices of the US #ReproductiveMedicine industry 🧬 #DCPRights

Download the Twitter app

Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Donor Conception and US Citizenship

The article is an interesting one as it highlights current positions taken by the State Department with regards to children born outside the country to same sex parents via surrogacy and donor conception. How much of this is political position of changing State Dept administrations who can say. Just another complication to address and be aware of if this is the path chosen.

Friday, September 06, 2019

Infertility & Social Media - The Rise of Male Factor Social Media

Fifteen years ago I used to follow a lot of blogs dealing with infertility. At that time it was rare to see a male factor blog discussing infertility issues. There were a handful at best. 

Today it’s better but still rare. Then again today I am not searching them out as I was then. Even then I was not so much dealing directly with infertility as we had two kids. I was writing about my life trying to figure out what I meant to be dad and my responsibility to these kids. 

But when I come across a male factor oriented social media site especially one expecting a kid via donor sperm it pricks up my interest to learn more and probably to offer advice before it’s asked for. Sorry. Occupational hazard after so many years. 

My apologies in advance for my unproffered comments or info.  


Why are women so mean to infertile women?

Tonight I read this great article by Amy Klein addressing issues that infertile women go through. 

Upon reading it I tweeted the following two comments:

My Exwife dealt with some of this even thought it was I who was infertile. Choosing #DonorConception via #donorsperm was not easy for anyone. My DI Dad blog still gets negative comments even when I no longer actively post there.

Amy's article informs readers that while both men and women must face societal pressures regarding #infertility, women undergo society's backlash even where it's their male partners who are infertile. Society today seems set up to be critical of women. 

Men and women address infertility in different ways. We process stress and societal expectations differently.  Men tend to bottle it up and don't look for outlets discuss their pain. Women look for outlets but often are derided when in a forum that is not geared for positive help.  It's not an easy topic. 

Read the article whatever gender you are it's worth reading. 

#infertility #infertilewomen #infertilemen #amyklein 

Sent from my iPhone

Thursday, August 22, 2019