Active on IG. Semi Dormant Here

 You can find me on Instagram at @Life_DI_Dad

The Complete Picture Musical

Thank you @theerinmaya @thecompletepicturemusical My daughter, my wife, Z's stepmom, and I loved attending the show. The music and lyrics were great. Loved it being a rock show. Enjoyed finally meeting @theerinmaya in person and reconnecting in person with @cassandrajadams.

Z enjoyed meeting everyone. Her experience is vastly different but she appreciated knowing that she is not alone if she has questions and appreciated the offers of an ear if she wants to ask questions. She generally does not talk too much about being a DCP after years of listening to me. The show again is a gift to so many and we look forward to seeing it grow and evolve into a full fledged musical we hope to attend opening night.

#donorconception #recipientparent #rockmusical #thecompletepicturemusical

The Complete Picture

Looking forward to attending this show with my wife and my daughter. 

Reducing the Stigma of Donor Conception

Back in 2006, USA Today featured an article where several Dads were interviewed. At that time, USA Today was generally not distributed free in NYC, it was one Sunday, I think the week before Father's Day, where they gave away several thousand free copies in NYC. Many people in NYC that did not know our story learned it. Was amusing.


My goal in being public has always been two fold. One to help remove the stigma of men telling their stories and to allow them to openly discuss and tell their children their conception story. To allow fathers to be present in their children's lives without a secret hanging over their relationship. To foster discussion.

Whose Story ?

' https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2023/01/01/carolyn-hax-grandma-post-baby-news/

There is an interesting article in today's WP advice column regarding sharing baby news after TTC issues that can easily be applied to donor conception or a number of scenarios where one family member looks to share news of another person's story.  

In summary, a couple have struggled to achieve a pregnancy after so many years.  They inform one set of parents they are pregnant and grandma-to-be announces over social media without permission.  Young couple demands the posting be taken down.  Hurt grandma-to-be feels her joy has been stunted and writes WP advice columnist.  The responding article perfectly addressed / admonished grandma-to-be.  

Determining whose story it is to tell is tricky.  In my own case my own DC children are now young adults, 18 1/2 and soon to be 21 years of age.  How much of their donor conception is mine to tell?  My answer to myself is only my perspective can I tell.  I can no longer share their current thoughts or revelations with discussing it with them.  That does not mean this blog is finished. It just means their story is not mine to report.  My reactions and experiences with reference to their story are still mine to share where and when appropriate.  

I love my kids.  I want to help and protect them.  Right now we are living our lives.  I am still an advocate for parents and for DC individuals.  It's just the story I tell has to take everything into context.  And first and foremost the relationship with my children is sacrosanct and I protect that before all else.  Even if my telling a story gives me personal joy.  

Read the linked article.  It's a good one. 

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Request - Retweet NYS Senate Bill 7602

I have a request.  Please retweet the below linked tweet from my @life_di_dad Twitter account to show NYS that SB 7602 The Donor Conceived Person Protection had support.  It's the pinned tweet at the top. Can I get 100 retweets this weekend !   

https://twitter.com/life_di_dad/status/1484553887839363086?s=21

NYS Residents please contact your State Senator asking them to support and cosponsor the bill !  

https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/bills/2021/s7602

https://www.nysenate.gov/find-my-senator

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DNA Matching Season

It's DNA Matching season.

It's that time of year after holiday gifts of DNA kits are given that for a number of persons life is turned upside down. New discoveries are brought by emails which lead to questions and sometimes long buried secrets revealed. Take care.

I don't have the words to describe what made your parents hide such a truth. They may have been counseled by others to hide the truth for various reasons. I am not condoning or agreeing with their decision.

I counsel openness and truth as early as possible. Donor conception is a hard decision for many to choose. People don't often understand all of the ramifications of the choice they make and how it will impact their children. The donor conceived individuals created.

Be gentle to yourself, and even your parents, while also giving yourself the right to ask, to feel confused and betrayed. There usually was no intent to hurt you. Be honest and allow yourself to feel what needs to be felt. This will hurt.

#donorconceived #donorconception #dnamatches

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