Thursday, January 16, 2014

How do you define what biological kids feel like?

This past Monday the NYT column Motherlode ran a column titled “Would a Pregnancy Through a Donor Egg Feel Like ‘Mine’? written by Amy Klein.  It’s an interesting question and I can see where a woman would ask the question.  What is amazing to me is that we have the technology to allow a woman to become a birth mother and to bond with the child in this manner.

 It is certainly a bond no dad, biological or social, can ever experience. [I am discounting the transgender dad who never switched out his female parts.]

 Now granted a woman carrying donor eggs is a far cry from being a father to children created via donor insemination.  But it begs the question what do biological children feel like that are different than my own DI children?

 Many men before their DI kids are born worry about binding with the children and that somehow the children will know the dad is not biologically related and reject the dad.  I have seen from my own experience and been told by most dads, that upon seeing their DI children and interacting with them in every normal way dads do, that the bonds form quickly and naturally. 

 So the answer to the above question, for most dads, is that these kids are our kids.  There is no different feeling.  These kids not only feel like mine. They are.

1 comment:

whosedaughter said...

The Gift of Family