The following is a comment I just posted on a donor conception FB group in response to a post that a couple is experiencing conflict where the expecting dad wants to minimize the donors role in many respects:
“Anyone that has seen my comments know I believe in full disclosure as early as possible in a donor conceived child’s life. The reasons are supported by many studies that the earlier its know the less pain and betrayal if any will exist later. This can’t be a secret to the child as it’s their right to know who they are.
The donor does not have to be a major focus but at the same time to minimize the donor is to minimize and possible delegitimize half of who the child is. Doing that can seriously create self worth issues etc. I don’t want to create arguments here and I will respect everyone’s views but the goal must always be the best interests of the child. Using DI or DE is a decision we make as parents not one they asked for. They deserve truth in all respects. Our feelings as parents must be secondary to their mental and physical health. As parents I can’t imagine anyone not wanting that as their goal.”
Sent from my iPhone
“Anyone that has seen my comments know I believe in full disclosure as early as possible in a donor conceived child’s life. The reasons are supported by many studies that the earlier its know the less pain and betrayal if any will exist later. This can’t be a secret to the child as it’s their right to know who they are.
The donor does not have to be a major focus but at the same time to minimize the donor is to minimize and possible delegitimize half of who the child is. Doing that can seriously create self worth issues etc. I don’t want to create arguments here and I will respect everyone’s views but the goal must always be the best interests of the child. Using DI or DE is a decision we make as parents not one they asked for. They deserve truth in all respects. Our feelings as parents must be secondary to their mental and physical health. As parents I can’t imagine anyone not wanting that as their goal.”
Sent from my iPhone
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