Sunday, December 29, 2019

Fears, Failure, Faith

Chanukkah 2019

This year, the last few years actually, we have seen an increase in bigotry and hatred in this country. In the last week there have been several antisemitic acts or attacks just in the NYC area. 

My children were each raised in my faith, Judaism, but between the divorce, their own issues, etc their connection to my faith, the faith of their donor, has drifted away. 

This year I lit the candles but for one night that their half sibling brother was in the apartment where he happily lit the candles even though he was not strictly raised in this faith. 

There are many fears that dads to donor insemination kids hold. Failure at being a dad teaching dad things is one of them. This is not strictly a DI related issue. But it's part of me and something I had hoped to pass on to my children, a love for the faith I grew up in and something that very much defines who I am as an individual.

This year it is more important that Jews don't disappear out of fear. We need to stand up and say here we are. Hate and bigotry have no space and must be confronted. The Chanukkah candles are more than a celebration of a miracle that happened in Israel long ago. They are an affirmation that what is right must be stood up for.

But here I am today feeling that I failed as a father, as a dad. My kids have a lot going on as we all do.  Religion brings us a faith to cling to. What I generally take from this season is that all people share a common love for principles of goodness. Put aside the commercialism. 

As a dad I try to be there. As a dad to donor insemination kids I try to parent by example and to guide them along the way. Tonight I am sad in that something this year was lost. Maybe not forever but as a parent that is how I feel tonight.  


Sent from my iPhone

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