Post Secret: Sperm Donor via One Night Stand

One of this blog’s most viewed posts involved a December 2008 postcard that was posted on the popular Post Secret website. That post card was submitted by a donor conceived individual who was envious of adopted individuals because their fathers had not “jacked off in a cup for money”.

The below post card was published this evening, 12/17/2011, on Post Secret, and was mailed in by a man who apparently was chosen for a one night stand with the goal of effectively becoming a sperm donor by a woman whose husband could not naturally have kids. I am sure the child conceived by this IUI would be equally not thrilled to learn their conception story if they ever learned it.

Certainly looking at this post card from the point of view of an infertile husband, this brings out many of the fears that DI Dads have that their spouse would turn to another man sexually to create a child. For all he knows the wife, if she has chosen this path, might even let the husband think it is his child, until the truth would come out, via blood works or blood tests of some nature.

Granted while technically this post card details a donor conception, this scenario is not legally a legitimate donor situation and could lead to all sorts of custody and paternity issues, if and when, reality is confronted. But as a DI Dad as soon as I read this card all sorts of issues popped into my mind.

What Does Our Donor Think about 150 Offspring?

Lately with the two main donor stories currently hitting the media about upwards of 150 offspring or the Ben Seisler story about him having over 70 donor conceived offspring I am wondering what our donor thinks of all this?

If he knows his donor number he would see there are only four kids registered as having been born from his donation. I am guessing he would then sigh with possible relief. He must be in his mid thirties by now at least. I wonder if he is married did he ever tell his spouse he donated sperm? Guessing if he has kids they probably have no clue. But he must wonder if there are more out there. Does this scare him?

Seisler himself seems so far amused by it all and not overwhelmed, yet. Apparently Ben Seisler's fiance was told and from I saw on the news she is a bit concerned if all these kids start coming around looking for her husband. Seisler's story is being told as part of a documentary titled "Style Exposed: Sperm Donor,’’ which airs Sept. 27 on the Style network.

So far our four siblings, my two plus their two KNOWN half-sibs seem content with just each other as they each live in their own little worlds not even thinking about each other day to day. What their donor thinks about all this will remain a mystery.

Lesbian Couple Removes Donor From Birth Certificate

Just read the linked story over on BioNews about an Australian court case where a lesbian couple after petitioning the court was able to remove the name of their [known] donor's name from the birth certificate of their child. I am not sure how I feel about this.

Here in NYS as I have stated numerous times I am recognized on the birth certs of my children as their natural parent. I can empathize with this couple wanting their names on the certificate but somethig here just bothers me as the child has an ongoing relationship with the donor.

Read the article and then come back here and let me know what you think.

A Known Donor Who Is a Dad

no. 314

In tomorrow's Washington Post (December 17, 2006) is an article written by a man who is a father and dad to two children via a known donor arrangement. I use the terms father and dad as it's quite clear that this man while biologicaly the father also chose to be a dad with the blessing of the lesbian couple who asked him to be their donor. The children look upon him as their dad despite the fact that he does not live with them or have any parental rights as he gave these up.

Growing up these kids will never have any of the issues most DI kids or families have to address. Yes, it will be obvious that two moms needed outside help but that help is only a phone call away for the identity and medical issues. No feelings of stress telling family members or resentment. In fact these kids get three parents for the price of two. Sure dad does not custody or rights but the kids will probably pull him into the picture more and more as life advances for them.

Again not your typical DI story. Certainly not our story.