The book "Finding Our Families" written by Wendy Kramer, founder of the Donor Sibling Registry, comes out today. Am finally ordering my copy.
I will try to post later texts from reviews etc. The reviews have ALL been great.
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
Thursday, January 22, 2009
YouTube Video Advertising for a Donor Conceived Fiction Book
I was on FaceBook a short time ago and noticed that the founder of one of the donor conceived interest groups had posted a link to a YouTube video titled "My So-Called Fmily" which is the title of one of the two teenager centered books I referred two a few months back.
It turns out the video which looks a bit like a TV show / movie of the week commercial is an advertisement for the book. Now I have seen everything. Based on the video would you buy the book?
The video was posted by TheClassof2K8. I am not sure whether this party is the author, the video's creator, other interested party.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Infertility Books (1) Land of IF & (2) Maybe Baby
This post is a hit and run post as I am at work on 12/26 and want to get out of here. My apologies to both authors.
I have "known" Melissa Ford, albeit online, for a few years now and I can say therefore I knew her back when as she has become a singular force in the on-line infertility community with her website Stirrup Queens and its related special purpose sites.
She has built, on a personal level, what so many clinics, therapists and national organization can only dream of....a pre-built support system of fellow bloggers and individuals who know exactly what you are going through. The system has peer support for every variation of infertility.
So when she titled her book "Navigating the LAND of IF" you can be sure you will have no better guide than Melissa.
This afternoon I stopped in at a local chain bookstore and wandered past the infertility section to see what titles were new and to see if the male perspective was being represented at all and was surprised to see that it was. A rare and amazing event had occured. "Maybe Baby" is by the author, Matthew Miller, of the blog by the same name. Perusing the blog today I am amazed at how I missed this great blog and resource for guys going through male factor infertility.
I have read many MFI blogs over the years and most have fallen by the way side once the kids show up but I can say few if any have reached as many readers as Matthew Miller's Maybe Baby blog do. I applaud Mr. Miller for his honesty and humor for putting his life and that of his wife's so pubicly out there. So for those guys out there who are TTC and want something to read on thei daily commute and at home if the Internet is not really your thing pick up this book. I have and I am obviously no longer TTC but want to read what this man has to say.
Regards and Happy Holidays !
Monday, October 20, 2008
Teenage Donor Conception Literature - Fiction
Over the next few weeks I plan on reading each of the below fictional donor conception / insemination books. I am debating whether I will be leaving the dust jackets at home as my fellow subway / bus riders will no doubt wonder what a 40 something man is reading what are obviously books aimed at teenagers and teenage girls at that.
I posted the synopsis for each book on the DI Dads Yahoo group and one of the initial reactions was that neither synopsis mentions anything about a social father who raises and wants the child while the first book seems to indicate that the Choice Mom later married and bore children with her fertile husband prompting a discussion about real men and a call for a book featuring a DI Dad.
After I finish each I will post a review and my comments. I admit I will be reading each wondering what my own kids would be thinking if they were the reader much less my own reactions.
My So Called Family
by Courtney Sheinmel
Pub. Date: October 2008
ISBN-13: 9781416957850
Age Range: 9 to 12
Synopsis per Barnes & Noble:
I posted the synopsis for each book on the DI Dads Yahoo group and one of the initial reactions was that neither synopsis mentions anything about a social father who raises and wants the child while the first book seems to indicate that the Choice Mom later married and bore children with her fertile husband prompting a discussion about real men and a call for a book featuring a DI Dad.
After I finish each I will post a review and my comments. I admit I will be reading each wondering what my own kids would be thinking if they were the reader much less my own reactions.
My So Called Family
by Courtney Sheinmel
Pub. Date: October 2008
ISBN-13: 9781416957850
Age Range: 9 to 12
Synopsis per Barnes & Noble:
"Leah Hoffman-Ross just moved to New York and she wants her new friends to think she's a typical thirteen-year-old. But Leah has a secret: She doesn't have a father; she has a donor. Before Leah was born, her mother went to Lyon's Reproductive Services and picked Donor 730. Now Leah has a stepfather and a little brother, and her mom thinks that they should be all the family Leah needs.
Despite her attempts to fit in and be normal, Leah can't help but feel like something is missing. When she finds the link to the Lyon's Sibling Registry, Leah has to see if she has any half siblings. And when she discovers that one of the other kids from Donor 730 is a girl her age, Leah will do anything to meet her -- even if she has to hide it from everybody else."
The Other Half of Me
by Emily Franklin
Pub. Date: September 2007
ISBN-13: 9780385904490
Age Range: Young Adult
Synopsis per Barnes & Noble”
by Emily Franklin
Pub. Date: September 2007
ISBN-13: 9780385904490
Age Range: Young Adult
Synopsis per Barnes & Noble”
“Jenny Fitzgerald has been outside the huddle, trying to fit in to her sports-obsessed family. The only time she knows the score is when she's holding an egg-carton palette and painting on a canvas, but even then she feels as though something is missing.
Unlike her three younger siblings, Jenny knows her biological father only as Donor #142.
As Jenny's 16th summer draws to a close, she feels more alienated than ever. But then a chance meeting with gorgeous über-jock Tate leads Jenny to reach out to someone else who might know exactly how she feels. With Tate by her side, Jenny searches for a genetic relative in the Donor Sibling Registry and discovers that she has a half sister, Alexa. Jenny hopes their budding relationship will fill the gaps in her life, but when Alexa shows up on her doorstep for a surprise visit, the changes in Jenny's world are much bigger than she could ever have imagined.”
Friday, November 09, 2007
Graham Swift's Book "Tomorrow" - Disclosure as Fodder for Fear
I have posted about the book “Tomorrow” before but after reading the NYT book review today I am concerned that the book's theme of fear only strengthens individual arguments not to tell denying young adults and all donor conceived individuals the right to the truth of who they are. It appears also to maginalize a DI Dads contribution and gives the children the right to push their social fathers away upon learning the truth.What's wild is that according to the reviewer the mother paints a picture of a happy loving family where there is strongly bonded relationship between the twins and their dad, their father.
“Listen to your father, he’s got something important to say,” she says. “And then he’ll be nobody, he’ll be what you make of him. If you want, you can even tell him to leave.”
What struck me was the mother's statements that while truthful if fact that telling may affect their relationship with their father and that they, the children, have the right after learning the truth to tell him to go away. This man for all purposes is their father despite the biological link. To give these children, in this case young adults, permission to cast this man out only serves to heighten fears and is not based in reality.
If my children were to react in shock at learning at 16 this news I would certainly give them space to process this info and even understand the immediate resentment which could follow but as a father I would never submit to being told to leave. My children are my children and I would expect to continue to care for them as a father and to help them in any way I could. In short I expect I would fight to retain their love.
As I have not read the book I can't say why this couple waited until the children were 16 as it seems almost the worst age range to tell. Teenagers already have enough going on that to add this issue seems cruel.
Based on what I understand to be the fears of the mother it sounds like she should have joined the UK Donor Conception network and read the how to tell pamphlets before she got all worked up compounding her fears which surely will be felt by her children possibly introducing two new emotion into their young lives, embarrassment and shame, for an act that they had no control over.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Mummy, Daddy, Donor
no. 375
OK, this article, online at the Guardian Unlimited, got me. I admit it, my eyes welled up, and I almost cried. I am a sucker for this kid of story. The article, linked through the blog title above, introduces the reader to an egg donor whose eggs resulted in triplets being born to a couple living in San Francisco, CA. In what is certainly a rare occurence, the egg donor meets her genetic children and their birth parents and ends up participating, unplanned on her part, in the children's baptism. You feel the donor's emotions and when you hear the priest's words you feel the raw emotion.
I am not sure how I will internally react when my kids truly understand and ask about their donor. I don't think I could ever had thought to include the donor in the brith milah ceremony (Jewish circumcision) where my son entered into his covenant with g-d. Perhaps my thoughts would have been different if it was a known donor, but still that level of involvement may have been too much. But when I read this article I was moved by the acts of each of these individuals, the birth parents and the donor and I pray these children will process this all with the love and altrusim of the parties involved. I suspect they will. G-d I hope my own kids do someday.
Beneath the article there is a note that this story is one of several captured in the book Everthing Conceivable by Liza Mundy.
OK, this article, online at the Guardian Unlimited, got me. I admit it, my eyes welled up, and I almost cried. I am a sucker for this kid of story. The article, linked through the blog title above, introduces the reader to an egg donor whose eggs resulted in triplets being born to a couple living in San Francisco, CA. In what is certainly a rare occurence, the egg donor meets her genetic children and their birth parents and ends up participating, unplanned on her part, in the children's baptism. You feel the donor's emotions and when you hear the priest's words you feel the raw emotion.I am not sure how I will internally react when my kids truly understand and ask about their donor. I don't think I could ever had thought to include the donor in the brith milah ceremony (Jewish circumcision) where my son entered into his covenant with g-d. Perhaps my thoughts would have been different if it was a known donor, but still that level of involvement may have been too much. But when I read this article I was moved by the acts of each of these individuals, the birth parents and the donor and I pray these children will process this all with the love and altrusim of the parties involved. I suspect they will. G-d I hope my own kids do someday.
Beneath the article there is a note that this story is one of several captured in the book Everthing Conceivable by Liza Mundy.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Book Alert: "Tomorrow" by Graham Swift
no. 363Book Alert: Tomorrow by Graham Swift
Published by Picador
September 2007 – expected US Publish date
SPOILER ALERT
This post is not so much a book review as it is a book alert. One reason for this is I have not read the book and only heard about it today.
In short, the book is narrated by Paula, a 49 year old British wife and mother, while she lays in bed late at night next to her sleeping husband. She has a secret to tell her 16 year old twins. Now if I am writing about this book it should be obvious that the secret is that they are donor conceived. The mother recounts her and her husband’s life and everything that brought her to this point the night before she and her husband are to tell her unsuspecting children the truth.
As I cannot truly comment on the book as a literary work I thought it would be appropriate to provide excerpts of published reviewers that have read the book. My only observation is that I am not surprised that the topic has reached into popular fiction as I know that it has been addressed in earlier books. What I do find interesting are my reactions to the reviewer’s texts.
Overall it appears to me the book is a long and drawn out read about the parents’ lives which does not appear to address how they chose the donor, the thought processes behind their choice, any thought by the parents about the ramifications of using DI or why and how they determined that they would tell the children after they turned 16.
The Independent
A lovely trip to a humdrum destination
By Carol Birch
Published: 27 April 2007
“So what is the dreadful secret to be unveiled tomorrow, a revelation long ago scheduled for "after their 16th birthday"? What could possibly be so terrible that it might split asunder this close and loving family?
When the bombshell finally explodes, it does so with all the shock value of a child sticking out two fingers and shouting "bang!" Is that it? You say, and read on to the book's quiet end. Dawn, and the revelation is still to be made. What to make of it? Perhaps Paula is delusional. Is her life so content that she feels the fragility of it, and perversely has to manufacture a drama of monumental size? Mike, she says, is "like a man finding it in him to sleep on the eve of his execution". Perhaps he sleeps so soundly because there really is nothing too much to worry about.”
Eric: Nothing to worry about? If I had not told my kids until after they turned 16 and they were about to learn I was not their father I’d bet I‘d be up all night.
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The Guardian - Digested Read
John Crace
Tuesday May 1, 2007
Eric: You almost have to read the whole review (it’s quite short) as the reviewer is digesting the book more than somewhat tongue in cheek.
“I rushed home and told Mike that, consumed as I was with lust for him, I needed a child and we should try artificial insemination. Yet if I was to receive an unknown man's sperm, I needed to know what it was like to have another man inside me. At least that's the ridiculous reason I'm giving you for the unconvincing one-night stand I had with the vet. Don't worry, though, my little snails, the vet is not your father. The thing that will change your lives for ever is far duller than that. It is that your birth father was a sperm donor.
Yes, we love you as much as if you were our real children - Mike even saved you from drowning once. But can you ever forgive us, my little whelks, for him not being your real father? Will you leave us? We shall find out tomorrow. Or maybe I should just get out more.”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Eric: The US Amazon book site had little info outside various newspaper site one line throwaway reviews for the author, previous works and the current book .
The UK Amazon book site included one personal reader review including the following comment:
“Tomorrow's event which Paula has been worrying about turns out to be a huge let-down. Sure it is a revelation which will take some getting used to, but in this day and age it is hardly unusual. Talk about making a drama out of a crisis.”
Published by Picador
September 2007 – expected US Publish date
SPOILER ALERT
This post is not so much a book review as it is a book alert. One reason for this is I have not read the book and only heard about it today.
In short, the book is narrated by Paula, a 49 year old British wife and mother, while she lays in bed late at night next to her sleeping husband. She has a secret to tell her 16 year old twins. Now if I am writing about this book it should be obvious that the secret is that they are donor conceived. The mother recounts her and her husband’s life and everything that brought her to this point the night before she and her husband are to tell her unsuspecting children the truth.
As I cannot truly comment on the book as a literary work I thought it would be appropriate to provide excerpts of published reviewers that have read the book. My only observation is that I am not surprised that the topic has reached into popular fiction as I know that it has been addressed in earlier books. What I do find interesting are my reactions to the reviewer’s texts.
Overall it appears to me the book is a long and drawn out read about the parents’ lives which does not appear to address how they chose the donor, the thought processes behind their choice, any thought by the parents about the ramifications of using DI or why and how they determined that they would tell the children after they turned 16.
The Independent
A lovely trip to a humdrum destination
By Carol Birch
Published: 27 April 2007
“So what is the dreadful secret to be unveiled tomorrow, a revelation long ago scheduled for "after their 16th birthday"? What could possibly be so terrible that it might split asunder this close and loving family?
When the bombshell finally explodes, it does so with all the shock value of a child sticking out two fingers and shouting "bang!" Is that it? You say, and read on to the book's quiet end. Dawn, and the revelation is still to be made. What to make of it? Perhaps Paula is delusional. Is her life so content that she feels the fragility of it, and perversely has to manufacture a drama of monumental size? Mike, she says, is "like a man finding it in him to sleep on the eve of his execution". Perhaps he sleeps so soundly because there really is nothing too much to worry about.”
Eric: Nothing to worry about? If I had not told my kids until after they turned 16 and they were about to learn I was not their father I’d bet I‘d be up all night.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The Guardian - Digested Read
John Crace
Tuesday May 1, 2007
Eric: You almost have to read the whole review (it’s quite short) as the reviewer is digesting the book more than somewhat tongue in cheek.
“I rushed home and told Mike that, consumed as I was with lust for him, I needed a child and we should try artificial insemination. Yet if I was to receive an unknown man's sperm, I needed to know what it was like to have another man inside me. At least that's the ridiculous reason I'm giving you for the unconvincing one-night stand I had with the vet. Don't worry, though, my little snails, the vet is not your father. The thing that will change your lives for ever is far duller than that. It is that your birth father was a sperm donor.
Yes, we love you as much as if you were our real children - Mike even saved you from drowning once. But can you ever forgive us, my little whelks, for him not being your real father? Will you leave us? We shall find out tomorrow. Or maybe I should just get out more.”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Eric: The US Amazon book site had little info outside various newspaper site one line throwaway reviews for the author, previous works and the current book .
The UK Amazon book site included one personal reader review including the following comment:
“Tomorrow's event which Paula has been worrying about turns out to be a huge let-down. Sure it is a revelation which will take some getting used to, but in this day and age it is hardly unusual. Talk about making a drama out of a crisis.”
Saturday, March 31, 2007
"My Fears" - Second Submission to International Infertility Film Festival
no. 347
I actually filmed this video for the IIFF before putting the montage together. In summary I am reading about two pages straight out of essay in the Voices of Donor Conception book Behind Closed Doors: Moving Beyond Secrecy and Shame.
I am the only donor conception (with child) piece in the festival that I know of. For other videos submitted please visit: www.infertilityfilmfestival.com
I actually filmed this video for the IIFF before putting the montage together. In summary I am reading about two pages straight out of essay in the Voices of Donor Conception book Behind Closed Doors: Moving Beyond Secrecy and Shame.
I am the only donor conception (with child) piece in the festival that I know of. For other videos submitted please visit: www.infertilityfilmfestival.com
Friday, March 16, 2007
PC Crashed - No New Posts Until Next Week
no. 340
I know I have not been posting as frequently lately and for that I apologize.
This week our home PC crashed in an ugly fashion but I had backed up all our photos and videos a short 20 minutes earlier so I am not totally crazed by this (although I am) as I know I have not lost these memories forever. I will say buy a back up drive (i,e, Maxtor or whatever)immediately if you have not made other arrangements and have all those photos and personal records off your base PC.
The DI Dads book is going slowly as only a few dads have submitted essays to me. My video submission to the IIFF has stalled. I may just video me talking for a few moments. I had hoped once I updated my PC (yes that is when it crashed, tragic I know) I could then download MovieMaker and really get into my submission.
Sometimes my nickname of Charlie Brown appears accurate. At least I am able to forward my and my wife's e-mail to my blackberry. Feel free to say hello. I can't even moderate the DI Dads Yahoo group this weekend although between my two moderators I figure it has some coverage. Max, Bob - Please look in on the group this weekend if you can?
I know I have not been posting as frequently lately and for that I apologize.
This week our home PC crashed in an ugly fashion but I had backed up all our photos and videos a short 20 minutes earlier so I am not totally crazed by this (although I am) as I know I have not lost these memories forever. I will say buy a back up drive (i,e, Maxtor or whatever)immediately if you have not made other arrangements and have all those photos and personal records off your base PC.
The DI Dads book is going slowly as only a few dads have submitted essays to me. My video submission to the IIFF has stalled. I may just video me talking for a few moments. I had hoped once I updated my PC (yes that is when it crashed, tragic I know) I could then download MovieMaker and really get into my submission.
Sometimes my nickname of Charlie Brown appears accurate. At least I am able to forward my and my wife's e-mail to my blackberry. Feel free to say hello. I can't even moderate the DI Dads Yahoo group this weekend although between my two moderators I figure it has some coverage. Max, Bob - Please look in on the group this weekend if you can?
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Competing Donor Conception Projects
I am competing with myself for my time. By the end of March I need to have written my own essays for the next book in the Voices of Donor Conception series. This volume is focusing on the DI Dads and men considering DI. Yes, we have started the book.
The second project competing for my time is my submission to the International Infertility Film Festival. I have not truly nailed down my premise for my submission. I know it should address MFI and Donor Insemination / Conception but how is my issue and what message am I to send. Do I need a message? Perhaps not. I can't speak from one of the pain of TTC as I am no longer at that point.
I tried filming a short series of comments the other night as my submission but close ups of me after midnight is only a view my wife should be stuck with. And what I was saying sounded preachy. I need to write and film something closer to home.
As for the book we are shooting for a June publish date, hopefully in time for Father's Day and also leave time prior to that date for some publicity of the volume.
I plan to invest my own money in this project, although my wife is not thrilled, even though we have many other expenses ahead of us including school for our son for next year. Another topic altogether but it's a real possibility he is going to Day School if I can figure how to swing it even with the discounted rate the school is offering. Discounted but not free by any means. Again another topic. We have 10 days to accept their offer.
Should be an interesting and stressful month.
The second project competing for my time is my submission to the International Infertility Film Festival. I have not truly nailed down my premise for my submission. I know it should address MFI and Donor Insemination / Conception but how is my issue and what message am I to send. Do I need a message? Perhaps not. I can't speak from one of the pain of TTC as I am no longer at that point.
I tried filming a short series of comments the other night as my submission but close ups of me after midnight is only a view my wife should be stuck with. And what I was saying sounded preachy. I need to write and film something closer to home.
As for the book we are shooting for a June publish date, hopefully in time for Father's Day and also leave time prior to that date for some publicity of the volume.
I plan to invest my own money in this project, although my wife is not thrilled, even though we have many other expenses ahead of us including school for our son for next year. Another topic altogether but it's a real possibility he is going to Day School if I can figure how to swing it even with the discounted rate the school is offering. Discounted but not free by any means. Again another topic. We have 10 days to accept their offer.
Should be an interesting and stressful month.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Voices of Donor Conception: New Book Series
no. 308Voices of Donor Conception
Behind Closed Doors: Moving Beyond Secrecy and Shame
As stated on the book's website:
The first volume in this revolutionary collection of real stories about people affected by the donor conception industry is now available for purchase.Volume 1, Behind Closed Doors: Moving Beyond Secrecy and Shame, includes first-person essays designed to take some of the stigma out of donor conception and enable more open conversation for families affected by donor insemination.
Essays include:
>the honest fears of an infertile father (THIS IS ME !!!);
>the motivations and concerns of a sperm donor who is in contact with one of his adult offspring;
the insight and advice of two experts (Wendy Kramer and Olivia Montuschi) who have had contact with thousands of families affected by donor conception;
the insight and advice of two experts (Wendy Kramer and Olivia Montuschi) who have had contact with thousands of families affected by donor conception;
>three donor-conceived grown-ups, reflecting on the effects of their origins, as well as on the misperceptions of what it means to them; ( I believe one of the three individuals is Karen frpm Whose Daughter).
>specific recommendations--some controversial--for change within the industry.
The goal of the series is to open new pathways of communication and develop a wider range of print and online resources for parents, offspring, donors, industry representatives, legislators, bioethicists, mental health professionals, and others interested in humanizing the approach to reproductive technology.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Donor Conception Among The Ten Trends That Will Shape Our World in 2007
no. 306
"NEW YORK, Dec. 7 /PRNewswire/ -- JWT, the largest advertising agency in the U.S. and the fourth largest in the world, announces the top 10 trends for 2007, in conjunction with the release of Next Now: Trends for the Future, co- written by Marian Salzman, executive vice president and chief marketing officer. The book is due out December 26 from Palgrave Macmillan.
Including
(2) New Ties That Bind - Watch as our definition of family continues to broaden and evolve while dating takes a turn toward the traditional. Today, the family circle may include a child born from donor insemination and his/her half- siblings scattered across the country, found through online registries....."
Simply amazing.....
"NEW YORK, Dec. 7 /PRNewswire/ -- JWT, the largest advertising agency in the U.S. and the fourth largest in the world, announces the top 10 trends for 2007, in conjunction with the release of Next Now: Trends for the Future, co- written by Marian Salzman, executive vice president and chief marketing officer. The book is due out December 26 from Palgrave Macmillan.
Including
(2) New Ties That Bind - Watch as our definition of family continues to broaden and evolve while dating takes a turn toward the traditional. Today, the family circle may include a child born from donor insemination and his/her half- siblings scattered across the country, found through online registries....."
Simply amazing.....
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