On August 15th or thereabouts this blog turned two. Like a number of two year olds it became a little cranky. Not in the nature of its posts but its writer became cranky or at least that is what my wife told me I had become.
For those two years I felt I needed to post on a frequent basis. Well those feelings took their toll and besides wanting a venue as noted below where I could be more creative I guess I needed to step back for a while and just be a dad. I have even taken steps to empower others to be more active on the DI Dads Yahoo group.
While these issues are still very important in my family's life which only time will tell how important. I must let the children point the way. My son again is aware that a donor helped create him, his sister and T. My daughter has heard the discussions but she does not yet seem to grasp what it means even at the level he did at her age. Time will tell.
I am not closing ths blog down yet. Nor do I expect to as I still see visitors dropping in even with nothing new posted. I expect as circumstances dictate I will drop back for an occasional post. For those of you that I count as friends I wish you well and hope to follow your stories and videos on your blogs and perhaps you will honor me with an email once in a while as I hope to do the same.
Good luck.
Showing posts with label Personal Decisions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal Decisions. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Blogs Against Donor Conception
no. 341
It’s been a while since I have highlighted blogs which address donor conception as an avenue to family creation to be avoided. So here are two I have not highlighted previously.
One such site is Children Have Rights – Say No to Reprotech. The blogger Veronica Thomas has many strong opinions but provides little opportunity for discussion of both sides to any topic she focuses on but she does address many of the relevant topics worthy of discussion. Veronica critiqued My DI Dad blog back in January 2007 without holding back any thoughts which can be linked to here. Veronica is quite passionate in her views and posts yet we never learn of her connection or interest in the topic (to my knowledge) except for belief that it is wrong.
Another anti – donor conception site is one created by former donor Michael Linden of
I have never stated, to my knowledge, that I am pro donor conception. I believe my views have always been that it is the path we chose and today my blog exists to explore my thoughts on being a DI Dad and to present info as I find it on the topic. If that is seen as pro-donor conception so be it. As I wrote in a post to the DI Dads Yahoo group today one of my purposes is also to discuss as a DI Dad how we address DI with our kids to help them process their conception and life story. I also try to provide interested parties access to topical resources so they can make their decisions accordingly. Do I wish other couples, individuals success if they have decided to use DI, yes I do. Do I actively counsel couples not to use DI....no I do not. Again if that is seen as by default my being pro-donor conception so be it. My wife and I made our decision others have to make that same decision. May G-d help us help our children live with those decisions.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Sperm Storage Fees: The Annual Question
no. 320
It's late December again and we received the addendum to our storage agreement asking us to determine if we want to continue to store the unused vials of the donor's sperm. I last spoke about this in September 2005. We still don't know what to do.
A week does not go by that my wife doesn't comment that she wants another baby. I actually want more children as well. But financially it would not be easy or even fair to our existing kids to have another child considering our current liabilities. Living here in NYC is not cheap and for all I know our kids may to attend private school based on the condition of the local grade school (but that is another story).
Part of me wants to keep the vials for us. Part of me wants to keep them for another family that has already used our donor for one child but who do not have more vials to create a sibling. My wife has suggested we destroy them but I am not yet at that point. Certainly with storage fees at approximately $350 / year we can't keep the vials indefinitely.
I liked the idea of sending one vial for testing but that did not seem so cheap either although it would be a single one time fee and would perhaps shed more light on the donor and what genes may have been passed on to my kids.
I don't know what to do. We have to decide in a few weeks. My wife actually suggested last night that we sell them back to the cryobank so we can get some money back and if there were other families interested in this donor they'd have the ability to use him now. He was one of the few Jewish donors at that bank.
At this point I am betting another $350 will be charged to my credit card with no decision really being made. See you in another year when I bring this up again.
It's late December again and we received the addendum to our storage agreement asking us to determine if we want to continue to store the unused vials of the donor's sperm. I last spoke about this in September 2005. We still don't know what to do.
A week does not go by that my wife doesn't comment that she wants another baby. I actually want more children as well. But financially it would not be easy or even fair to our existing kids to have another child considering our current liabilities. Living here in NYC is not cheap and for all I know our kids may to attend private school based on the condition of the local grade school (but that is another story).
Part of me wants to keep the vials for us. Part of me wants to keep them for another family that has already used our donor for one child but who do not have more vials to create a sibling. My wife has suggested we destroy them but I am not yet at that point. Certainly with storage fees at approximately $350 / year we can't keep the vials indefinitely.
I liked the idea of sending one vial for testing but that did not seem so cheap either although it would be a single one time fee and would perhaps shed more light on the donor and what genes may have been passed on to my kids.
I don't know what to do. We have to decide in a few weeks. My wife actually suggested last night that we sell them back to the cryobank so we can get some money back and if there were other families interested in this donor they'd have the ability to use him now. He was one of the few Jewish donors at that bank.
At this point I am betting another $350 will be charged to my credit card with no decision really being made. See you in another year when I bring this up again.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Mandating Personal Moral Decisions as Law
no. 309
In today's on-line issue of the UK "Daily Mail" there is a report that it is a possibilty that female patients receiving IVF treatments (from what I assume to be state sponsored clinics) will no longer be required to demonstrate to the doctor that the patient has taken into account a child's need for a father figure. The full article is linked via the above post title.
As an American, who does not rely on socialized medicine the concept of proving one's intent or belief's to my physician is totally foreign to me. Yes I believe that if laws exist that qualify whether state monies can be used for specific procedures those laws must be respected. But if I disagree with those laws it is my right to vote for a legislator that shares my views with the hope of changing the offending law.
In my opinion there are certain choices of family lifestyle that are personal and I have no right to tell a person how to live. My blog is written to provide information on many sides of the DC debate. I made with my wife a choice and I support others to make their own choices. I only hope their choices are made with as much information as possible.
In today's on-line issue of the UK "Daily Mail" there is a report that it is a possibilty that female patients receiving IVF treatments (from what I assume to be state sponsored clinics) will no longer be required to demonstrate to the doctor that the patient has taken into account a child's need for a father figure. The full article is linked via the above post title.
As an American, who does not rely on socialized medicine the concept of proving one's intent or belief's to my physician is totally foreign to me. Yes I believe that if laws exist that qualify whether state monies can be used for specific procedures those laws must be respected. But if I disagree with those laws it is my right to vote for a legislator that shares my views with the hope of changing the offending law.
In my opinion there are certain choices of family lifestyle that are personal and I have no right to tell a person how to live. My blog is written to provide information on many sides of the DC debate. I made with my wife a choice and I support others to make their own choices. I only hope their choices are made with as much information as possible.
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