We all have found that online discussions of anything often break down into heated discourses where both sides end up disgusted and exhausted. The following is a post I added to one discussion and then later as a stand alone post. I have not been here on this blog in a long time but thought it worth posting here. Can't say when I will post again but here is this:
In the years that I have been actively participating in the original yahoo groups and later here on Facebook I have understood that part of the issue that the post James wrote is simply that those individuals who are donor conceived just wish to voice their experiences and not be discounted.
Yes some due to their experiences are advocates against the use of donor conception. Others want to offer their stories as a warning that parents can take into account when raising their kids. Others truly just need a venue to vent.
The fact of the matter is I traded the pain of my infertility, the loss of ever having my own biological children, to have children via DI with my then wife not realizing that our children could feel a loss to knowing both of their biological parents, not just their mom who they have.
We used DI not knowing the fear our children might have regarding hidden medical time bombs that might await them donated graciously for cash by their sperm donor.
There any many donor conceived across the generations that are perfectly happy. No need to go further. The number of stories is as long as the number of individuals conceived using donor gametes.
Both sides of this process have the right to their story and the right to feel a loss. No one should be discounted or feel they are being discounted just because someone else wants to tell their story.
The level of negative vehemence this stirs up serves no purpose but to keep us from gaining true insight across the board.
I truly ask everyone to try to step back before responding in this manner.
Please.
