no. 320
It's late December again and we received the addendum to our storage agreement asking us to determine if we want to continue to store the unused vials of the donor's sperm. I last spoke about this in September 2005. We still don't know what to do.
A week does not go by that my wife doesn't comment that she wants another baby. I actually want more children as well. But financially it would not be easy or even fair to our existing kids to have another child considering our current liabilities. Living here in NYC is not cheap and for all I know our kids may to attend private school based on the condition of the local grade school (but that is another story).
Part of me wants to keep the vials for us. Part of me wants to keep them for another family that has already used our donor for one child but who do not have more vials to create a sibling. My wife has suggested we destroy them but I am not yet at that point. Certainly with storage fees at approximately $350 / year we can't keep the vials indefinitely.
I liked the idea of sending one vial for testing but that did not seem so cheap either although it would be a single one time fee and would perhaps shed more light on the donor and what genes may have been passed on to my kids.
I don't know what to do. We have to decide in a few weeks. My wife actually suggested last night that we sell them back to the cryobank so we can get some money back and if there were other families interested in this donor they'd have the ability to use him now. He was one of the few Jewish donors at that bank.
At this point I am betting another $350 will be charged to my credit card with no decision really being made. See you in another year when I bring this up again.
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7 comments:
I think your wife's suggestion to sell them back is wonderful. Even if they do not "buy" them per se, at least it will alleviate the storage fee and give someone the chance you were given.
This has been a discussion on the DSR website in the last month. I am in a similar situation only mine are stored off-site so can't be sold back to the bank. I offered them at no cost on the SMC website but no takers. Sigh.
Julia
It's a tough decision to make in only a short time. If you are certain that you do not want anymore children, perhaps selling them back is best. If you think you may want another child in the future, it may be better to store them.
PS. I don't blame you about the private school issue. I'm a teacher so I know the importance of a good school for children.
Dear Eric,
Please could you tell me where you would send a vial for DNA testing and what kind of information you would hope to get from the tests. I would be most grateful.
Katty
It was back on 9/21/2005 that I last posted about this issue. IN the comments there I added te following two links regarding testing of extra donor specimens:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DSR_Discussion/message/2275
http://www.caymanchem.com/cabri/donorsemenarchive.jsp
I am sure there are other sites / companies that provide similar services. I am not yet sure I am comfortable with everything this outfit provides.
Most of my concerns today are still the same as there were back in 9/2005 and I am copying my additional comment below.
"As opposed to normal medical testing none of this would be covered by insurance and my fear is if I were to learn of something that my actual medical insurance carrier would claim a pre-existing condition when and if the something were to need treatment and provide NOT provide coverage."
I was negligent in that I still have done any additional research in this regard. Subconsciously perhaps I was afraid to. Either way my New Years resolution is to do it this year and pretty dran soon regarding setting up info on a pre-existing condition.
I think if there's any question--any wiggle room for doubt--you should sit on the decision and eat the $350 this year. Provided you have the $350. It just doesn't sound like you're ready. And I think when you're ready, the decision will make itself. You'll feel at peace with it.
Yeah, we're in the same boat. Every year we wonder what to do about that one last vial. We're done having kids, but the bank has no more from this donor, so what if? We just keep paying the fee too, and I don't know when we'll stop either!
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