Sunday, November 13, 2005

Update: Why Do I Blog re Being a Dad via Donor Insemination?

My wife asked me this evening why am I fascinated by this topic? Her second question was do I still hurt by it?

I answere the second question first. I told her that for the most part any pain is gone but some small part of me wishes our kids were mine biologically as well. I certainly don't want different kids. If biologically I was able to have kids these two kids would not be here and that would be a loss as they are perfect to me (granted the three year old pushes his luck sometimes).

My purpose at this point I told her is that I wish there was no stigma and that the issue was as open as adoption. I hate the secrets. The term disclosure itself sucks and that is why the term openess is preferred. I want others to feel OK about their decisions and to focus more on raising the kids while at the same time be cognizant of the consequences of these actions. Everyone should be aware that DI creates individuals not just babies and the responsibilities for that individual are more involved than simply creating a baby. I have discussed this in earlier blogs.

At the same time I want to let other dads (and families) see what one man and his family are thinking about so if they are considering DI or are already there they can see my thoughts and then say that was my concern too and it was not such a silly or minor thought after all.

On the flip side I don't expect this blog to solve anyone's issues but if it can be catalyst in any form that's great. But realistically in the end the blog is just a personal web log for me to rant and rave to myself and get my thoughts off my chest.

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