Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Yet Another "Telling" Conversation & Discussion

This past Saturday night we spoke with the mom of our kids' half sibling. Just basically a catching up conversation. We spoke briefly regarding the "telling" conversation mostly in regards to what is being discussed on the discussion groups out there on the topic. Currently the discussion groups are not focused on this topic

I forgot to mention to her that the UK DC Network has a number of pages devoted to "How to Tell". The DC Network has actually been developing such a project for a while now supported by UK Government funding. The link is to the project description as I cannot find the actual how to tell pages at the moment.

We actually reached a sort of semi agreement although we did not formally term it a decision as such and like anything it could change. When any such meeting occurs between the kids they would be introduced as having a common donor who helped both mommies in bringing the kids into this world. That will be our definition of half siblings in effect. It is unclear if we will even use the term half-siblings although I think the term should be introduced as well in some form. We definitely agreed that terminology like sister / brother is not applicable as the kids have no social relationship warranting such terms

Over time as the kids get a better understanding of the birds and the bees they will discover the connection as to what half siblings means in more depth we figure. Knowing my son his daily routine of randomly picking a word out of the dictionary will by freak chance be sibling and that throw this idea for a loop.

The next evening I again asked my son who helped mommy and daddy make him and he said "the donor" in a way that evoked "dad I know this and I know you know I know so why are you asking me again?". I then expanded the session by stating that the same donor may have helped other families to which he brought up Fred, Fud, Ted and Tud again (see my Dec 11th post). Although this time the list of kids was expanded to include Did and Dud (actually Did was discussed apparently back on Dec 11th). Not being thrilled with a half sibling being named Dud I stated that he should recall that Dud's full name is Dudley to which he laughed and we ended this telling session.

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