Jewish Bioethics & a Call for Access to Donor Medical Records

no. 364

In the Thursday, May 3, 2007 edition of Washington Jewish Week Online Edition staff writer Eric Fingerhut interviews Rabbi Elliott Dorff, a frequent writer on Jewish Law and Bioethics. Within the article the Rabbi called for greater access to donor medical records for donor conceived individuals. The pertinent excerpts of the article are printed below:

“Among the most important bioethical matters in the Jewish community today is infertility and the issues that arise from it, said Dorff.

With Jews getting married later in life, women have a tougher time conceiving children and couples are increasingly turning to donor sperm or eggs.

But when those children become teenagers, and want to find out "who [they] are," they can't look to their father and mother to see the exact sources, for instance, of their various personality traits.

Thus, he would like to see donor banks collect and make information available for children. He pointed out that there are some facilities already doing this, such as a California sperm bank that tapes interviews of donors talking about themselves and allows children to get information on their biological heritage. “

My comment:

Many, not all, cryobanks here in the US already provide some data regarding the health of the donors. What I think needs reformation is some sort of standardization of that information across all banks with some sort of minimum level of info that must be provided. I am not even talking about testing of the donor sperm but merely standardization of the info that must be available to the parents and the donor conceived individuals. Furthermore that info must be made available for a minimum of some period of years, at least say 25 years past the last date sperm samples were sold so that DCPs who were not provided that info by their parents have at least som shot of finding the info. We not even getting into medical conditions that arise after the donations have stopped. That's another issue which I am not sure we can ever mandate.

According to the article:

“[Rabbi] Dorff will be speaking on "Bioethics: A Progressive Jewish Perspective" at Adat Shalom Reconstructionist Congregation in Bethesda on Sunday, May 6, 2007, at 6:30 p.m. The program is co-sponsored by the Institute for Science and Judaism”

Book Alert: "Tomorrow" by Graham Swift

no. 363

Book Alert: Tomorrow by Graham Swift
Published by Picador
September 2007 – expected US Publish date

SPOILER ALERT

This post is not so much a book review as it is a book alert. One reason for this is I have not read the book and only heard about it today.

In short, the book is narrated by Paula, a 49 year old British wife and mother, while she lays in bed late at night next to her sleeping husband. She has a secret to tell her 16 year old twins. Now if I am writing about this book it should be obvious that the secret is that they are donor conceived. The mother recounts her and her husband’s life and everything that brought her to this point the night before she and her husband are to tell her unsuspecting children the truth.

As I cannot truly comment on the book as a literary work I thought it would be appropriate to provide excerpts of published reviewers that have read the book. My only observation is that I am not surprised that the topic has reached into popular fiction as I know that it has been addressed in earlier books. What I do find interesting are my reactions to the reviewer’s texts.

Overall it appears to me the book is a long and drawn out read about the parents’ lives which does not appear to address how they chose the donor, the thought processes behind their choice, any thought by the parents about the ramifications of using DI or why and how they determined that they would tell the children after they turned 16.

The Independent
A lovely trip to a humdrum destination
By Carol Birch
Published: 27 April 2007

“So what is the dreadful secret to be unveiled tomorrow, a revelation long ago scheduled for "after their 16th birthday"? What could possibly be so terrible that it might split asunder this close and loving family?

When the bombshell finally explodes, it does so with all the shock value of a child sticking out two fingers and shouting "bang!" Is that it? You say, and read on to the book's quiet end. Dawn, and the revelation is still to be made. What to make of it? Perhaps Paula is delusional. Is her life so content that she feels the fragility of it, and perversely has to manufacture a drama of monumental size? Mike, she says, is "like a man finding it in him to sleep on the eve of his execution". Perhaps he sleeps so soundly because there really is nothing too much to worry about.”

Eric: Nothing to worry about? If I had not told my kids until after they turned 16 and they were about to learn I was not their father I’d bet I‘d be up all night.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The Guardian - Digested Read
John Crace
Tuesday May 1, 2007

Eric: You almost have to read the whole review (it’s quite short) as the reviewer is digesting the book more than somewhat tongue in cheek.

“I rushed home and told Mike that, consumed as I was with lust for him, I needed a child and we should try artificial insemination. Yet if I was to receive an unknown man's sperm, I needed to know what it was like to have another man inside me. At least that's the ridiculous reason I'm giving you for the unconvincing one-night stand I had with the vet. Don't worry, though, my little snails, the vet is not your father. The thing that will change your lives for ever is far duller than that. It is that your birth father was a sperm donor.

Yes, we love you as much as if you were our real children - Mike even saved you from drowning once. But can you ever forgive us, my little whelks, for him not being your real father? Will you leave us? We shall find out tomorrow. Or maybe I should just get out more.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Eric: The US Amazon book site had little info outside various newspaper site one line throwaway reviews for the author, previous works and the current book .

The UK Amazon book site included one personal reader review including the following comment:

“Tomorrow's event which Paula has been worrying about turns out to be a huge let-down. Sure it is a revelation which will take some getting used to, but in this day and age it is hardly unusual. Talk about making a drama out of a crisis.”

AFA Telephone Support Group: 5/31/2007 Parenting Donor Gamete Children

no. 362

Copied entirely from American Fertility Association email :

"TOPIC: Parenting Donor Gamete Children (Donor Sperm, Donor Egg, Donor Embryo).
The Disclosure Issue: If, What, When, And How".

This coaching group is accessible to you via your telephone.
It is appropriate for couples and individuals who

• Are considering the use of donor sperm, egg, or embryo to create their children
  
• Are already parenting children created by donor sperm, egg, or embryo
  

During this one hour group conference call, you will have the opportunity to receive information on:

• The pros and cons of disclosure to children of their genetic origin
  
• What and when to share this information with children if you so choose
  
• If and how to share this information with family and friends

You will also have the opportunity to share information and support one another in making this decision and implementing this aspect of parenting.

When:
Thursday, May 31, 2007

Time:
9:00 PM to 10:00 p.m. PM, EST

Facilitators:
Joann Paley Galst, Ph.D. and Patricia Mendell, L.C.S.W


NO FEE for AFA MEMBERS !


For more information, and to register, contact:
Joann Galst (jgalst@aol.com or 212-759-2783)
or Patricia Mendell (pmendell@aol.com or 212-819-1778)

Dear Would-Be DI Dad To Be

no. 361

Linked through the title to this post is a letter written by Walter Merricks, one of the founders of the DC Network, to woudl be DI Dads. It was one of the first writings I read about donor conception when I started researching on line about the topic (after my kids were already born).
The letter was part of a series of letters written by DC Network associated individuals. It's an excellent starting point for any man looking at DI. To see the series go to the DC Network, link through to Library / Booklists / Planning a Family Leaflets.

Ethics: Donor Gametes - In General and Between Parents and Children

no. 360

There was an interesting Opinion piece published in the April 27, 2007 Ottawa Citizen that I learned about due to Diane Allen's posting about it on the Yahoo DSR Discussion group. It was an opinion piece regarding the ethics of donor gametes. The piece was written in response to the news story regarding the freezing of a mother's ova (eggs) for later use by her daughter who is infertile. An interesting piece. I admit I need to read through it again to fully absorb it. The author is Margaret Somerville who is founding director of the McGill Centre for Medicine, Ethics and Law.

I have presented the full article on this blog's Annex but at risk of being accused of publishing spoilers the last three paragraphs of the article are:

"Ova freezing is just one more example that raises the broad question: How should we deal ethically with scientific advances in reproductive technologies? I propose that all these technologies must be ethically evaluated primarily through the lens of the children who will result from their use.

That lens requires that, at the very least, we first do no harm to those children; that we respect their fundamental human rights to come into being from natural biological origins; and that we act in their "best interests," in particular, in preserving their natural genetic relationships.

Except for concern about physical risks to children from using reproductive technologies, the focus up to now has been almost entirely on the rights of adults, who want to have a child, to use these technologies -- that is, only the adult lens has been used. That has caused a failure to consider, in the depth and breath required, both what ethics requires with respect to the children conceived through the use of reproductive technologies and the fundamental human rights of those children with respect to their coming into being."

I don't think anyone will be surprised by her conclusions but I do think the entire piece worth reading to understand her reasoning.

AFA Infertility Conference: Donor Conception Sessions

no. 359

This weekend, on Sunday April 29th, the American Fertility Association is hosting the annual Family Matters, the National Fertility and Adoption Conference at the Grand Hyatt Hotel in New York City .

On the conference agenda are a few workshops available (during the many breakout sessions) addressing donor conception. I am hoping to at the last minute be able to attend but I don’t expect it to happen. These are the session titles as noted in their program (linked above):


Session 1 Workshops include: (9:55 – 10:55)

>Panel Discussion on Next Steps – Donor Egg, Embryo Donation, Sperm Donation, Surrogacy or Adoption [Steve Snyder, Esq., Elizabeth Swire Falker, Esq., Nanette Elster, Esq., Aaron Britvan, Esq.; and Daniel Becker, Esq. (Moderator)]

Session 2 Workshops include: (11:00 – 12:00)

>Donors are People Too – A Panel of Ovum Donors [Patricia Mendell, L.C.S.W., B.C.D. (Moderator)]

Special Conference Event: (4:05 – 5:05)

>To Pay Or Not To Pay: The Great Donor Compensation Debate [Jamie A. Grifo, M.D., Ph.D.]

I actually do want to attend but know my wife will want me to stay home.

DSR & Univ of Cambridge: Survey Regarding Donor Conception

no. 358

The Donor Sibling Registry in conjunction with the University of Cambridge Centre for Family Research has launched a large scale survey and study of those DSR members looking to answer questions, anonymously, regarding their thoughts, feelings, and experiences regarding donor conception.

DSR members must log into the DSR site and then they can link into the actial survey. It took about 20 minutes. The questions are for the most part multiple choice with sections allowing for added comments.

Considering the DSR has over 7800 members even if only 10% respond it would represent a major study in this area. To my understanding the survey is open to any DSR member including donor conceived individual, bio and social parents, and / or donors.

BBC One Drama 4/20 "All About Me"

no. 357

BBC One Program Reminder for 2:05 pm on Friday April 20, 2007

Link to my original post to see a synopsis of the one hour drama inspired by the changing DI / AI laws in the UK. For additional details link here to the PDF document posted by the DC Network about the program.

Vanessa Williams "And Then Came Love" - Sperm Donor Search Movie (with additional comments)

no. 356

The release date for this movie has been announced as June 1, 2007 (per IMDB) The blog post links to the site of the production company Fox Meadow Films which merely states to expect a Summer release.

Recall that the earlier working titles for this movie were in most recent first order: "Somebody Like You" and "Who Needs 'Em?". My bet was that the first title could be seen as anti-men and that's why it was dropped.

The brief synopsis for this movie per the official website is as follows:

"Julie (mid 40s), a successful Manhattan columnist believes she has it all - a great job, a rent controlled apartment, a boyfriend and best of all, an adorable six-year-old son named Jake.

Her perfect world, however, is rocked when she’s called in for an emergency parent-teacher conference and learns that her son has been acting up, needs to be ‘tested’ and is on the brink of expulsion. Julie places genetic blame on Jake’s father whom she does not know as Jake was conceived through an anonymous donor. Through a private investigator, Julie is able to learn the identity of the donor and meets him. Julie has neither intention nor desire to reveal her identity to him, she simply needs to check her sources, get the facts, and move on."

There is a lot more to the plot which you can read on their site. Obviously this movie is romantic coomedy movie with serious undertones. Until we see it and read the script it is hard to tell if they address the issues of donor conception as more than just a mechanical vehicle to take us from the donor once found to the love interest / father figure for the child created.

UPDATED COMMENTS:

When I posted the above text earlier I did not see the trailer posted on the movie site linked through the post title. It looks cute and I apparently mischaracterized the premise as it appears that the mom apparently starts falling for the donor while at the same time a relationship develops between the child and the donor (even though both child and donor don't yet know the reality of their connection). Yes I am probably giving too much of the story away but I am not saying anything that their synopsis doesn't say itself.

What I am concerned about is whether this movie will make kids born into Choice Mom families start saying where is my bio father? Granted in this story the mom is a single heterosexual so the fantasy of the child's mom finding and falling for the donor is possible. Also what message does that send to children born to married mothers (like mine)? Will my kids look for me to be displaced? Probably not but it adds to the fears of DI Dads. And what of kids born into families where the mom may be lesbian and there is no chance of mom falling for dad?

OK, I realize this movie is not meant to answer the really hard questions but you wonder what level of responsibility the writers felt if any to the larger donor conception community. I'd love to interview the them and ask.

TV's "Brothers & Sisters" & One DI Dad & Two Donors

no. 355

Julie over at DI Mom summarizes what is happening on the ABC drama "Brothers & Sisters". It seems that the show has taken on DI as a story line and has involved three of the shows featured siblings. Julie also quite eloquently states her concerns about this story line as a parent of a DI conceived child.

Will TV get it right or will they get it wrong? Is this the type of exposure we want for this issue or not?

I want to know how I can get the infertile dad character to join the DI Dad's Yahoo group.

Let Julie know your thoughts on her blog and I'd like to hear yours as well.

Oregon Man Deemed Donor - No Rights to Sperm Mistakenly Provided to Second Couple

no. 354

"Judge says accidental sperm donor has no right to know if he's a father"
Posted by The Oregonian April 16, 2007 15:56PM
-- Ashbel S. Green

Excerpts:

"A Portland man whose sperm was inadvertently given to a Salem-area woman has no right to find out whether he is a father, a Multnomah County judge has ruled.

Circuit Judge Henry Kantor said he was not finished writing his opinion, but wanted the parties to know his decision because it had been so long - nearly seven months - since they argued the case before him.The man, who sued for a paternity test under the initials M.H., claimed that he produced a sperm sample at Oregon Health & Science University's fertility clinic in September to impregnate his fiancee. The same day, a Marion County couple that had struggled to start a family was visiting the clinic. A mix-up occurred, and clinic workers gave M.H.'s sperm sample to the woman."

"Michael G. Smith, the attorney for the Marion County couple, praised the decision. He said he expected M.H. to appeal. "I think essentially what they would be doing is to ask the Oregon Court of Appeals to declare Oregon's artificial insemination statute unconstitutional, which is a tall order," Smith said"

Full text of the Oregonian article at the Annex.

My Opinion:

I can understand the plight of the couple given the sperm by mistake but I think the judge got the decision wrong. I'll have to wait to see the written opinion once it is public but to me it appears the decision has a fatal flaw.

I have posted the Oregon statute on the Annex but it essentially says a Donor has no rights to the children created by the donated sperm. [Oregon State Law Section 109.239].

The flaw as I see it is that the intent of the plaintoff was never to be a donor but that his sperm only be used with respect to his wife so how did he become reclassified as a donor? If he is not a donor his rights should not be cut off. I disagree with the defendant's attorney. The appeal does not have to invalidate the law but it does have to attack the application of the law to this plaintiff.

My wife is having another man's twins - and I could not be happier

no. 353

by MORAG TURNER
Daily Mail
Last updated at 23:42pm on 12th April 2007

"Richard and Sandra Woolven were looking forward to starting a family. But after a year of trying to conceive, they were horrified to learn that Richard had a zero sperm count, making it impossible for him to have children.

The couple, who live in Worcester, decided to have fertility treatment using a sperm donor. Now Sandra, 27, a sales manager, is 35 weeks' pregnant with twins. Here, Richard, 30, a software developer, talks about his mixed emotions as he approaches fatherhood... "

I will post the entire arrticle in this blog's Annex later today. For now the article is linked via the above title.

You can check out Richard's personal journey via his blog:
http://the-end-of-my-line.blogspot.com/

Who Did We Tell Again? Should We Tell Anyone Else?

no. 352

There is a problem with telling. Not with regards to telling your kids as they have a right to know. What I am refering to is telling only select segments of your friends and family. The problem is you tend to forget who you have told and who you haven't.

I got home from attending the NY Mets home opener at Shea Stadium and my wife asked me if had told my college friends, at least the core group, of our kid's conception story. My reply was I think so but wasn't wholly sure. I knew I had told at least the friend who was our best man at our wedding. Beyond that I think I told the other guys, but to be honest I wasn't wholly sure. Thinking about it now I am not even sure why she asked me this question.

For the most part I am sure 99% sure none of our friends and family would care or even blink at their conception story but at this point I am prone to not tell anyone else as it is my son and daughter's story to share or not share.

"All About Me" New BBC Drama Exploring Donor Conception, The Search For Identity, And The Nature Of Family

no. 351

The above named drama will premier on Friday April 20th On BBC 1 At 2.05pm.

Medical News Today
Article Date: 03 Apr 2007 - 11:00 PDT

"ALL ABOUT ME by Malcolm Campbell explores donor insemination, genetic inheritance and the damage of secrets and lies.

The drama was inspired by recent changes in the laws regarding donor anonymity for sperm and egg donors. Donor conceived children now have the right [in the UK] to trace their donor parents, just as adopted children do."

"ALL ABOUT ME comes from triple BAFTA award-winning indie Resource Base, commissioned by BBC Education and BBC Daytime in a first co-production."

If anyone can secure a copy of this drama or provide a review once it airs I'd be interested to hear about it. We have yet to see a serious take on donor conception on TV or in the movies here in the US. It is presumed that the Vanessa William movie will be more serious than "Made in America" ever was but is still being promoted as less than a hard core drama from what I have seen.

Explaining Passover to a Five Year Old & Matching Donor Backgrounds

no. 350

This week we have been celebrating Passover so that means not only not eating bread products but also due to the fact that we are of Ashkenazi descent we also do not eat rice and other products where the product "rises" even though the product does not contain yeast or is defined as "Chametz".

My son, this evening on day 5, for dinner asked for a PBJ sandwich at which point we again asked him if he understood why we have not been having bread and that his PBJ would have to be on matzah. At which point my wife added if we were Sephardic we could at least have had rice. My son latching onto that wanted rice.

My response was unfortunately both I and his donor were of ashkenazi descent so he was out of luck no matter what and he should just eat his PBJ on his matzah and like it. He seemed to accept that and just enjoyed his matzah sandwich.

UK NGDT Chair Defends “Give a Toss” Sperm Donor Campaign

no. 349

The entire text is posted at this blog’s Annex.

Excerpts:

“The National Gamete Donation Trust (NGDT) has never believed that removal of anonymity in the UK caused the decline in sperm donor numbers. As we said in a previous BioNews commentary: 'It is important to remember that, with or without the removal of anonymity, there have never been enough gamete donors in the UK to meet the demand. One of the main problems continues to be lack of awareness' (BioNews, 7 August 2006).”

“We do not believe that this campaign affects the altruistic nature of donation, that is, the kindness of the kind man. No one will donate because they think our campaign is funny; only those who take the bait, read on and get the message. Potential sperm donors that contact the National Office receive a full information pack with practical, legal and medical information. Initial follow-up calls suggest that these men did get the message, and a substantial percentage have actually decided to go on and contact a clinic. Regardless of what message made the potential sperm donor contact a clinic or the NGDT, we believe a donor is a very special, caring and committed person.”

My Observations:

Laura and the folks at NGDT from what I have seen and read are truly trying to help those families looking to avail themselves of ART via donor conception. I have not seen any news pieces on the campaign as of yet here in the United States and I am quite curious what kind of reaction it would get.

NYMag: Israeli Donor Egg Farming

no. 348

http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/30032/

By Kira Peikoff

NY Magazine

April 9, 2007

The entire text is posted at this blog’s Annex.

Excerpts:

"There is a shortage of Jewish in vitro eggs. Hopeful parents are turning to the Promised Land. "

“Here’s a riddle for your rabbi: If your baby is born from in vitro fertilization, and the donated egg isn’t from a Jewish woman, is the baby really Jewish? Although different branches of Judaism have different answers—Reform says it’s about how the kid’s raised; Orthodox rabbis tend to believe a conversion is necessary—many parents want to make sure their child is a member of the tribe down to its DNA. The problem is there aren’t enough Jewish eggs to go around. So a new type of yenta has arrived on the IVF scene who finds suitable donors, usually from Israel, to match with Americans seeking to become pregnant.”

My observations:

As the full article notes “Israelis may identify more strongly with infertile couples because of their society’s strong pressure to reproduce”. Based on Rachel’s site and other information I have seen IVF and related ART techniques are much more common and accepted in Israel based on societal pressure. My only concerns, beyond the normal issues surrounding the donor conceived created, is whether the women donating are putting aside their health issues and risks for a chance at the money offered. The article certainly closes on the exorbitant monies they can earn.

"My Fears" - Second Submission to International Infertility Film Festival

no. 347




I actually filmed this video for the IIFF before putting the montage together. In summary I am reading about two pages straight out of essay in the Voices of Donor Conception book Behind Closed Doors: Moving Beyond Secrecy and Shame.

I am the only donor conception (with child) piece in the festival that I know of. For other videos submitted please visit: www.infertilityfilmfestival.com

"My World" - One of Two International Infertility Film Festival Submissions

Make video montages at onetruemedia.com

no. 346

This video can also be seen on YouTube by clicking here. For links to other submissions to the International Infertility Film Festival click here .

You can also go to the link www.InfertilityFilmFestival.blogspot.com.

I am currently uploading what was my supposed to be my first submission to YouTube now.

May 2007 Conference re New and Reproductive Technologies

no. 345

"Nobody's Child, Everybody's Children"

I don't know a whole lot about this conference and whether it will present all sides of the issues surrounding donor conception. But it does appear, from the agenda, to be quite comprehensive. I do know that Mikki Morrisette is to be part of a parents panel.

For more information click here or go to:

http://www.mala.ca/nrgt/index.asp

Give A Toss: Further Reactions

no. 344

In response to my post 342 I received the following e-mail from Eric Blyth, who co-authored the BioNews commentary on the Give A Toss Campaign. I have published the full text of the commentary on the Annex as well as an earlier BioNews October 2006 commentary discussing earlier efforts at increasing the number of donors in the UK following the law change abolishing donor anonymity.

Hi Eric

We met in Toronto in 2005 at a conference organised by Diane Allen you may recall.

I am one of the authors of the BioNews commentary that is critical of the NGDT "Give A Toss" campaign.

I tried to contribute a comment on your blog, but it required a Google password that I don't have.

Clearly, we have different views on the "Give A Toss" campaign. Fair enough, it's a free world. Like you I don't believe the campaign set out to disrespect people, but that's what it does.

I was also sorry to see that you had chosen to repeat that assertion that:

"the switch disallowing donor anonymity in the UK resulted in a severe drop in men donating sperm for use by couples and individuals looking to conceive children."

"All" reports do not confirm this, as we pointed out in the BioNews Commentary.

Had you undertaken more thorough research before making your own comments you would have found otherwise.

We also drew attention to the work that has been undertaken in Manchester to recruit identifiable donors to positive effect.

Yours Sincerely
Eric Blyth CQSW BA MA PhD
Professor of Social Work
University of Huddersfield
Queensgate"

I will admit I am no expert in the determination that the law abolishing donor anonymity was the sole cause, the leading cause, or even a contributing factor in the drop in the number of UK donors. My printing the statement refered to was prompted by reactions I received from reading many UK news articles online (tabloid and mainstream media) and even the comments I believe from Richard's blog that no donors were to be found anywhere in Britian.

As for my views of the campain I believe I made it clear that while I was amused at the concept I had felt it was a risky venture and I recognized that the campaign could be / would be offensive to some. I also stated that it appeared that the NGDT took on this tack only because they felt alternative efforts were not working. The October 2006 BioNews commentary referred to above and in the current BioNews commentary the writers (Eric Blyth and Irene Ryll) apparently feel and point to proof that alternative do exist and have worked. Not being part of the NGDT I can't say how their decision was made to go ahead with Give A Toss just that they did and felt warranted to do so. I still think it was a gutsy move as they must have realized the possible impact.

In the last day since I posted my initial reactions to the Give A Toss campaign I traded emails with Olivia Montuschi of the Donor Conception Network as I wanted her reaction to the campaign and the site. In short her reaction was one of fear that the site and the NGDT campaign may have set back by years the work done (by the DCN, the NGDT and others) trying to erase the stigma of what donating is seen as, the view of donors, and consequently the view of donor conceived persons.

It is this last part of the equation that I worry about I guess. If the current campaign results in additonal or reinforced stigna attached to the persons created by the DI process it becomes a question of was it worth it. Certainly for the added families who end up conceiving a child the answer for them will be yes but again that looks at the whole puzzle from the parents perspective and not the individuals created.

I am not trying to walk both sides of the fence here ...I am only trying to think things out as they hit me. I am certainly no professional pundit but I also realize as one of the few individuals who focuses his writing on the topic of donor conception this blog keeps coming up on Google searches on the topic and that requires me to record my views honestly and to write responsibly.

Donor Conceived as TV Character Back-story

no. 343

As reported on the March 19, 2007 MovieWeb.com TV News webpage:

"Kyle Bornheimer, Jonathan Chase and Rick Hall have boarded the CW's comedy pilot Dash 4 Cash, which is set behind the scenes of a racing reality competition series; Bornheimer will play a twentysomething odd duck who joined the race after tracking down his sperm donor father and demanding a place in the family. Chase will play another contestant in the race who has issues with his father (Hall)."

It will be interesting to see how this show plays the DI conceived story as comedy or a fact to give this character some depth. I don't know the actors so I am unsure what their histories are. As reality shows seem to be fading somewhat and given the failed attempt of The Sperm Donor it is unlikely any of us will ever see this show on the CW prime time schedule.

NGDT's "Give a Toss" Sperm Donor Campaign

no. 342

The UK National Gamete Donor Trust has embarked on what is probably their most ambitious and most controversial campaign to recruit new sperm donors. The campaign titled "Give a Toss" linked here and above and as evidenced by the image quite racy and has been designed to obviously attract attention in markets they have not been able to reach previously with their message.

According to all reports the switch disallowing donor anonymity in the UK resulted in a severe drop in men donating sperm for use by couples and individuals looking to conceive children. This new campaign by the NGDT is another attempt to reverse that trend. The goal obviously using humor and sex is to bring men to the door and then to seriously discuss what it means to be a donor and the possibilities that their donations can provide couples.

As soon as I saw a link to the campaign site in Richard's blog I e-mailed Laura Witjens of the NGDT with my reactions and in her replies she herself noted that the campaign has stirred things up and already resulted in 46 registrations which may not translate into 46 donors but it represents a start. Laura indicated that 46 may seem a small number but that number is usually their best count for 2 to 3 weeks as compared to the much shorter period that this campaign has been active.

BioNews critiqued the campaign in a recent commentary where they felt that the campaign was tacky and only reinforces the negative image of sperm donation. I would expect that many of the donor conceived persons out there will have similar reactions and be quick to denounce the campaign. I do not believe the campaign was designed with any disrespect to donor conceived persons in any way. It may be interpreted that way and feelings may be hurt but I am sure the idea was solely the most expeditious way to get the message out as loudly as they could that there is a lack of donors.

I, myself, found the site in of itself quite humorous. The game and a few of the scrolling "facts" crossed a few lines farther than I would have dared but I think the NGDT is really trying to fulfill their mandate and believes it is time to take drastic measures to fulfill its goal of helping families affected by the lack of available donors. I believe the fact that they are trying to be inventive, even risking severe criticism, shows that the situation is dire from their perspective.

I wish the "Give a Toss" site had a more direct link to the more serious NGDT website as while the "Give a Toss" site is obviously tongue in cheek it may help to temper the reactions and remind men of why they are being asked to donate. The "facts" link has some info but could use a bit more but perhaps to do would have weakened the "shock" value of the overall concept.

For those individuals and entities that state there are better ways of attracting donors they should volunteer their time and efforts to the NGDT. From what I have seen, this campaign while risky, has been the best effort to date to attract widespread attention. Granted not all of it will be good, there will be some backlash, but as I was recently told when the canoe is already headed towards a waterfall you give its occupants the biggest paddle you can find and hope for the best.

Blogs Against Donor Conception

no. 341

It’s been a while since I have highlighted blogs which address donor conception as an avenue to family creation to be avoided. So here are two I have not highlighted previously.

One such site is Children Have Rights – Say No to Reprotech. The blogger Veronica Thomas has many strong opinions but provides little opportunity for discussion of both sides to any topic she focuses on but she does address many of the relevant topics worthy of discussion. Veronica critiqued My DI Dad blog back in January 2007 without holding back any thoughts which can be linked to here. Veronica is quite passionate in her views and posts yet we never learn of her connection or interest in the topic (to my knowledge) except for belief that it is wrong.

Another anti – donor conception site is one created by former donor Michael Linden of Australia. This new site is titled The Donor Who Dared to Say Don’t. Like Michael’s earlier blog it is not updated frequently but offers another platform for Michael’s views.

I have never stated, to my knowledge, that I am pro donor conception. I believe my views have always been that it is the path we chose and today my blog exists to explore my thoughts on being a DI Dad and to present info as I find it on the topic. If that is seen as pro-donor conception so be it. As I wrote in a post to the DI Dads Yahoo group today one of my purposes is also to discuss as a DI Dad how we address DI with our kids to help them process their conception and life story. I also try to provide interested parties access to topical resources so they can make their decisions accordingly. Do I wish other couples, individuals success if they have decided to use DI, yes I do. Do I actively counsel couples not to use DI....no I do not. Again if that is seen as by default my being pro-donor conception so be it. My wife and I made our decision others have to make that same decision. May G-d help us help our children live with those decisions.

PC Crashed - No New Posts Until Next Week

no. 340

I know I have not been posting as frequently lately and for that I apologize.

This week our home PC crashed in an ugly fashion but I had backed up all our photos and videos a short 20 minutes earlier so I am not totally crazed by this (although I am) as I know I have not lost these memories forever. I will say buy a back up drive (i,e, Maxtor or whatever)immediately if you have not made other arrangements and have all those photos and personal records off your base PC.

The DI Dads book is going slowly as only a few dads have submitted essays to me. My video submission to the IIFF has stalled. I may just video me talking for a few moments. I had hoped once I updated my PC (yes that is when it crashed, tragic I know) I could then download MovieMaker and really get into my submission.

Sometimes my nickname of Charlie Brown appears accurate. At least I am able to forward my and my wife's e-mail to my blackberry. Feel free to say hello. I can't even moderate the DI Dads Yahoo group this weekend although between my two moderators I figure it has some coverage. Max, Bob - Please look in on the group this weekend if you can?

Fighting Cousins

no. 339

One of my earliest posts titled "Kissing Cousins" addressed the fact that my kids are not blodd relatives to my nieces. This post has the same theme but with I think a reverse twist.

We spent yesterday at my sister's house with my family celebrating a birthday. My son was the only boy playing with his cousins and his younger sister. My sister's house does not have a lot of boy centered toys and usually the toys he selects to play with his cousins are not thrilled with him touching. Consequently thess visits usually end up with the girls wishing my son would go home early. Maybe not consciously but subconsciously.

My wife asked me when we finally did get home whether my sister ever explained to her kids how their cousins were created. I guessed that she had not as they are only in kindergarten and second grade. But I wondered if she had would my nieces ever say anything to my kids (especially my son) when my kids are getting on their nerves.

It's one thing when you tell family, the adults, of the use of donor conception but you never know how kids react. They may not care or they will interpret what they think they understand in some unexpected manner. Eventually we shall see.

Competing Donor Conception Projects

I am competing with myself for my time. By the end of March I need to have written my own essays for the next book in the Voices of Donor Conception series. This volume is focusing on the DI Dads and men considering DI. Yes, we have started the book.

The second project competing for my time is my submission to the International Infertility Film Festival. I have not truly nailed down my premise for my submission. I know it should address MFI and Donor Insemination / Conception but how is my issue and what message am I to send. Do I need a message? Perhaps not. I can't speak from one of the pain of TTC as I am no longer at that point.

I tried filming a short series of comments the other night as my submission but close ups of me after midnight is only a view my wife should be stuck with. And what I was saying sounded preachy. I need to write and film something closer to home.

As for the book we are shooting for a June publish date, hopefully in time for Father's Day and also leave time prior to that date for some publicity of the volume.

I plan to invest my own money in this project, although my wife is not thrilled, even though we have many other expenses ahead of us including school for our son for next year. Another topic altogether but it's a real possibility he is going to Day School if I can figure how to swing it even with the discounted rate the school is offering. Discounted but not free by any means. Again another topic. We have 10 days to accept their offer.

Should be an interesting and stressful month.

Popularity of and Choosing a Sperm Donor

no. 337

In the last two weeks the NYT has now run two articles focusing on Donor Conception / Insemination and one letter to the editor. The newest article by Gina Kolata focuses on the choice of donors and Fairfax Cryobank's Donor 1913 and his alleged most popular status.

Anonymous Conception
Psst! Ask for Donor 1913
New York Times
By GINA KOLATA
Published: February 18, 2007

They Are Linked by Their Genes (1 Letter)
NYT Letters to the Editor
Published: February 20, 2007
Janine Baer

I plan to post the text of these articles to the Annex later this week for now the links are provided above to the NYT itself. My own reactiosn resulted in my submitting my own letter to the editor. If I don't hear from the NYT within I think two weeks, their time requirement, I will post it here. The crux of my letter involves male input into the selection process.

Emerging Donors – A DI Dads Dilemma

no. 336

Sperm Donor Father [CCB 150] Ends His Anonymity
NY Times
Amy Harmon
February 14, 2007

Hello, I’m Your Sister. Our Father is Donor 150
NY Times
Amy Harmon
November 20, 2005

The November 20, 2005 article was one of the first within Ms. Harmon’s series that graced the cover of the NY Times bringing the issues surrounding DI to the forefront of water cooler discussions in the past 18 months. Seeing today’s article bring some resolution to the identity issue for the donor conceived teenagers and young adults in the piece was nice to see, read, and feel a part of.

As a DI dad initial reactions are a curious thing. You are happy for these kids but then you wonder will my own kids have such a desire to meet / find their bio father? How will I feel when it’s a real man across the park they are walking towards? Long term it’s certainly a good thing from their perspective but it also makes you take stock of yourself and the reminder that your emotional reactions / needs must come second to theirs.

Not all DI dads will take this approach. Certainly most heterosexual couples still have not told their kids of their origins and that’s their decision. My kids know and will continue to be told their story so how will I feel when it’s their turn we’ll have to wait and see how life develops for them and for me.

Sperm Storage Fees: The 2006/2007 Question

no. 335

Well we ended up continuing to store our remaining vials. I just sent the cryobank via email an updated storage agreement requesting that my credit card be billed monthly as opposed to paying a year's worth of storage at once. Sort of like a month to month lease for space in their cryogenic tank.

We envision in the next few months selling back all but one or two vials at 50% of what we paid for them but for the moment the decision is again put off for another day. It is doubtful we will ever use these vials but like many others we are too chicken to pull the plug.

International Infertility Film Festival - Not Much Time Left

no. 334

Sorry, for the lack of posts these last two weeks. It's been extremely cold here in NYC and by the time I get home I am bushed and the kids have been up later than usual. Hence one tired poppa.

I have been struggling with what to submit for the film festival. I have toyed with asking other dads to film themselves for 5 seconds each and send me photos and put together a collage of what infertile men look like (namely like anybody) with title sequences that state infertility can hit anybody so watch what you say and be supportive etc. etc. yadda yadda yadda. Other ideas have me discussing the topic with my kids but J won't stay still and I am not thrilled with putting his face out there so publicly.

Only a few more weeks and I need to create an entry. The whole avatar / electronic actor thing is beyond my time and ability right now. The apartment is too cold for me to be up late creating stuff on the PC right now. Anyone have an idea?

"Sperm Banks' Screening Too Strict" (No Altruistic Purpose Here)

no. 333

Spectator News
(Student Newspaper of the University of Wisconsin)
Jacob McCormick
Issue Date: Feb. 5, 2007

Four excerpts of an article written by a student who looked into donating....full text posted on the Annex linked above....

"Last semester, I was joking around with a few fellow staffers at The Spectator about donating sperm. Because of my constant need for money to cover my extravagant spending budget, I decided to look into actually donating.
.....
I figured it couldn't be more painful than giving plasma twice a week. At a minimum income of $100 per accepted sample, according to the Genetics and IVF Cryobank Web site, it is a much more profitable venture than plasma, even though the nearest sperm donation center is located in Roseville, Minn.
.....
The one thing that was a big concern to me when I was considering donating sperm was the confidentiality of my name and the legal issues that may be involved with indirectly fathering a child. However, Cryobank's Web site states that all names are withheld and that the donor does not have to worry about child support or anything of that nature.
.....
The monetary compensation for donating sperm is definitely worth the procedure and it isn't a waste of time to look into donating. But given the rare chance of actually becoming a donor, I think I'll stay master of my domain and continue donating plasma."

After reading the full article it certainly did not leave a positive impression. I counter this article in my mind with the donor voice recording we have. I would expect having heard that recording that my kids will at least feel their donor had good intentions even if they know he was paid money.

Needs of Sperm Donors, Offspring at Odds

no. 332

Needs of Sperm Donors, Offspring at Odds

By Kay Miller

Star Tribune

Minneapolis – St. Paul

Last Updated: February 2, 2007

- The sperm bank industry is being challenged to catch up with growing demands for detailed information about donors as thousands of their offspring come of age.

- The article includes the following paragraph:

"Morrissette collected evocative essays from DI children, a sperm donor, even an infertile father in her 2006 book, " Behind Closed Doors: Moving Beyond Secrecy and Shame," (Be-Mondo Publishing, $12.95)"

The infertile father is me!

-------------------------------------

A Sperm Donor has Waited for More than a Year to Become Part of His Kids Lives

WIBW.com

Topeka, Kansas

Posted: 4:48pm Feb. 2, 2007

- An update of the Kansas Supreme Court case. In short this was the first day the Court could have issued its opinion. It did not do so and the next possible date a decision can be issued is March 16.

--------------------------------------------

Donor Offspring Find One Another

Star Tribune

Minneapolis - St. Paul

by Kay Miller

Last Updated: February 02, 2007 – 5:13 PM

- The mothers know that Donor 1047 has at least 23 offspring, possibly as many as 100.

Where I've Been - Just Being a Dad

no. 331

During the last week I really have not had much time to decide to what to post here. For that matter I missed a posting deadline on another blog I am a member of. It's not so much that I have not had anything to say but rather I have been having fun just being a dad and specifically setting up a photoblog for my son on a topic he is currently involved in ...his love of the subways (the NYC kid's version of trains). Unfortunately for you folks the blog is a private one as it contains images of my kids and I want keep their images private when I can.

So don't worry topics like the the Virginia legislative bills regarding assisted reproduction and new donor conception blogs are not far from my mind but at the moment just being a dad is taking precedence. You can be sure when the Kansas decision is rendered regarding the rights of that sperm donor I will be blogging about it.

FDA Says Embryo Bank Not Under its Jurisdiction

no. 330

Houston Chronicle
Associated Press
January 24, 2007

SAN ANTONIO — The Food and Drug Administration said Wednesday that a broker offering ready-made embryos to prospective parents does not fall under its jurisdiction.

An FDA spokeswoman in Dallas confirmed this month that the agency was investigating Jennalee Ryan's Abraham Center of Life but would not elaborate.

It was unclear what laws or regulations were the focus of the investigation.

An FDA statement Wednesday said that "the investigation determined that the facility was not currently engaged in practices that fall under FDA jurisdiction."

DI Dad Responsible for Child Support Despite Separation Agreements

no. 329

Mark Fass
New York Law Journal
January 24, 2007

Delaware County, NY, Acting Supreme Court Justice Eugene E. Peckham has held that a man who grudgingly agreed to his wife's artificial insemination with a donor's sperm may not deny legal responsibility for the child during the couple's divorce proceedings. [Laura G. v. Peter G., 1070/04.]

"The couple who married in 1995 agreed in 2004 separation agreement that the husband had no financial responsibility for the then unborn child. Shortly before the parties filed for an uncontested divorce, they entered into a stipulation that again stated that Mr. G. would not be financially liable for the child and calculated his child support obligation exclusive of her.

Shortly before the parties filed for an uncontested divorce, they entered into a stipulation that again stated that Mr. G. would not be financially liable for Alyssa and calculated his child support obligation exclusive of her. "

In short the Judge ruled that the husband had agreed to the DI, raised the child, developed a loving relationship to the child, and that to now cut off that relationship would not be in the best interests of the child.

The judge cited the Court of Appeals [NYS's highest court] decision Shondel J. v Mark D., 7 NY3d 320, which held, "Where a child justifiably relies on the representations of a man that he is her father with the result that she will be harmed by the man's denial of paternity, the man may be estopped from asserting that denial." "

2007 Sundance Film Festival Entry Includes Sperm Donor Plot

no. 328

Salt Lake Tribune
By Ellen Fagg

Article Last Updated: 01/24/2007 01:44:50 AM MST

"....In "Never Forever," a complicated, graphic love triangle, [Vera] Farmiga's Sophie is a rich, impeccably-dressed wife with a halo of blond feathery curls who secretly seeks a sperm donor when her Korean-American husband can't father a child......"

IMDB listing

NY Metro Parents

no. 327

I submitted an online application to the NY Metro Parents website to become a contributor to their "Parent's Blog Network" using my work on this blog as a reference. Their on-line website appears to cover most, if not all, the topics covered by their various free NYC print magazines.

My base topic of observing life as a dad to DI kids may be too narrow for them but as a dad here in NYC maybe they'll be interested in another viewpoint. Considering alternative reproductive technologies are recently a frequent topic of interest in the press they may be interested.

I also submitted a discussion board entry indicating I am looking for other NYC area parents who kids are donor conceived to start a local network of families so my kids and theirs can know other kids whose stories are similiar.

Sperm Donor Movie : Re-Titled Yet Again !

no. 327

It appears that within the last week the IMDB listing for this movie has now listed it under the title "And Then Came Love". So the working title history so far includes in most recent order "Somebody Like You" and originally "Who Needs 'Em?".

Should we take bets what other titles it may change to before it completes post-production and is released? The movie stars Vanessa Williams and is directed by Richard Schenkman. The movie also stars Ken Daniels, Michael Boatman, and Eartha Kitt.

National De-Lurking Week: Jan. 8th - 12th

no. 326

I apparently did not realize that January 8-12, 2007 was National De-Lurking Week. I apologize to anyone that would have liked to de-lurk during the sanctioned period.

If you feel you can de-lurk now even though the amnesty of the week has past I encourage you to do so. It might mean that I will be held accountable for coaxing you out into the open without reading you the Internet equivalent of your Miranda Rights but I think I will risk it. Hopefully you will as well. What could 4 days hurt?

If you feel uncomfortable now that the week has past but would like to say hello feel free to contact me via my e-mail address posted on my Blogger profile. I promise no personal e-mails will be made public unless you want them to be.

Update re Vanessa Williams Sperm Donor Film: Retitled "Somebody Like You"

no. 325

As previously discussed, back on 6/28/06 and 6/27/06, the plot of the film is that Williams seeks out the sperm donor that she used to create her child but is unhappy to find out who and what he really is (and no he is not Ted Danson from "Made in America").

Anyhow for anybody looking to find this film when it is eventually released it has changed it's title from "Who Needs 'Em" (assuming this was a reference to men in general and the donor in particular) to "Somebody Like You" (assuming this refers to a character which is the Williams love interest.

Updates as they come out will be probbaly posted on the IMDB site and this Yahoo site.

"I Want Daddy"

no. 324

My kids are truly mine and my daughter is very much daddy's girl. Everytime she starts crying about something or another she automatically comes to me for encouragement, comfort or for an answer her mother did not give her.

On the other gand sometimes her crying out for her daddy makes me feel like she knows I am not her biological father and she is crying for him. Last night she came down with what is her very first fever, which is amazing since she's over 2.5 years old. But when she woke up at one point she was screaming that she wanted her daddy and I was right there. No matter how many times we tried to tell her I was there she kept crying out for her daddy.

This happened again tonight when we were giving her a bath to try to bring the fever down. It took several minutes for us to calm her down and again I had these feelings like she knows. I feel every inch her daddy and know I am but sometimes your mind plays tricks on you and when you see your child in pain and you cannot do much to stop it you feel helpless. Gotta run as she just woke up.

"Embryo" Bank Stirs Ethics Fears

no. 323

On Saturday, January 6, 2006, Washington Post ran a story regarding the Abraham Center of Life, based out of San Antonio, TX, discussing the Center's advertising that they are offering the world's "First Human Embryo Bank" for couples dealing with infertility issues. Articles regarding this facility have popped up now and again and it is no surprise that with the last few weeks worth of Katrina Clark stories, Mary Cheney stories, and cloned food stories that this one is trotted out again.

The reporter, Rob Stein, hits all the relevant issues and does note that ethically the service provided is similar to what is currently available in that couples or individuals can now arrange for donor sperm and donor eggs separately and that ethically that has not amounted to the same level of interest that the Abraham Center engenders.

My only comments are, echoing again the authors, that where an individual / couple arrange for DI and DE they are the ones choosing the combination as opposed to the Abraham Center making the choice for commercial reasons as to what combinations they believe individuals / couples woud want. While it is clear that when individuals make the choice they are doing so for their own personal reasons here it does begin to make the line grayer than it already is.

Perhaps I am misunderstanding the service provided by the Abraham Center but so far this is my understanding of what it means to offer the World's First Human Embryo Bank. A copy of the Post article will be posted in the Annex to this blog.

New Blog: Donor Conception New York

no. 322

I have come to the conclusion that one of my goals to start a national US based organization that would loosely act as an alliance of the various US donor conception related organizations is not happening and to be honest would unnecessarily try to duplicate what already exists, the DSR. It is our national organization in the US even if it is a different kind or organization.

What I am now going to attempt is start a local, grass roots group right here in New York City for NYC families looking to meet up (yes in person) with other families created via donor conception. I will admit the genesis for this idea is selfish. I think my kids would benefit long term from physically knowing other kids like themselves that later they can turn to as friends for all the things friends do as well at times when they need to gripe, share, question their personal stories.

I also think it would be helpful for me as a parent to face to face be able to on a periodic basis talk to another parent in person about DC related matters. So if you know folks here in NYC that might share these goals or desires send them my way at the new blog (linked through the post title) which may in time grow into something more...personal friendships

Known Donor vs. Anonymous - A Discussion on Salon.com

no. 321

Currently there are about 80 plus comments posted onto a Salon.com article where one half of a lesbian couple wrote in requesting donor advice from one of the resident correspondents.

The requesting woman thinks she wants a known donor where her partner believes an anonymous donor is safer for various reasons including parenting roles, custody etc.

The discussion that arises throughout the 80 plus and growing comments is quite interesting. Not many hetero responses beyond my own but the level of discussion is enlightening.